Hello all

I am writing to you whilst scoffing bacon sandwiches, lovingly made by Mr H, and watching Homes Under the Hammer (one of my secret pleasures). 

I'm sorry that the last blog was so bleak.  It was a blog that was already written it just hadn't been published.  It was always the most likely option being that miracles in my world seem to be highly lacking lately.

I told you we were going to go to Scarborough to visit my Dad, Step Mum and the oldest two Hunters as they are on holiday there.

Well we went regardless of the latest news.  I could be sat in my bedroom surrounded by boxes of Kleenex (other brands are available) feeling incredibly sorry for myself and not one person I think would begrudge me.

But we have severely limited time left so I want to spend it doing stuff the kids will enjoy.  That Mr H and I will enjoy.  Let the happy stuff cram in now ready to soften the blow later.

We have had to book to speak to funeral directors and will be getting Bob (my beautiful old 2CV) ready for sale as he will pay for my funeral. I will also have to arrange to hand my beautiful Fiat 500 (Luigi) in mint green with a soft top back to as I will struggle to drive him.

Anyhow back to how I am determined not to sit crying all day.

We got in the car early Wednesday morning and drove to Scarborough, well Filey, a small town close by.  We arrived and were greeted with lovely hugs and love from the oldest two.  The Twins were quite happy to see them too. 

We all hopped into the cars after a coffee and went to Peasholme Park, via a ride on a small train which delighted all of us, Mr H especially.  This is about trying to lessen the load.  Give us all something to smile about or distract us.

The ability of the seaside which brings back memories of a childhood well spent to heal the heart can never be underestimated.  It definitely helps me.

We walked about, had a coffee and cake and bought the children small gifts from the shop.  Today they were allowed to look at the toys and decide which one they wanted within reason.  I was determined they should get what they wanted.  The boys chose a fire engine, space shuttle, mini and go-kart respectively.  Little miss H chose something hidden in an egg.

The next day we took the children to the beach not just any old beach though, the same beach in Bridlington that my parents took me to when I was a baby.

It feels like things going full circle.  Although the weather was a bit dodgy it didn't stop us, being English and being on holiday.  The kids splashed about, build sandcastles and found odd and unusual stones (dinosaur bones).  We ate salty chips and had ice-cream then went to play on the amusements, just as I would as a small child, the penny pushes and ride ons (trains, cars merry go rounds).

Then we drove home late on leaving the others to the rest of their holiday.  I'm determined to fit in much more of time like this before I can't do it.

Cancer you are an absolute bastard but I will fill every moment I have left with joy, love and hope that a cure will be found for those still fighting and those yet to be diagnosed.