Crosswords and Disappointment

3 minute read time.

Happy Easter to all of you :)

It's early evening and I'm still sitting in the hospice so I thought to stave off boredom (there is nothing on TV, I'm stuck watching a marathon of Who do you think you are? currently) I'd bring you bang up to date with me and tell you about my latest London trip.

I received agreement from London that they were happy for me to travel down and be seen and hopefully if it was deemed I was well enough I would receive treatment.  So the hospice were glad that I was going to get some treatment and left me to organise my travel as usual with an overnight.

This visit my Mother in Law came instead of my father who was taking a well earned rest.  Sadly both my grandparents on my dads side are in hospital and dad has needed to help out with both of them too.  All's good though as I get on with my mother in law and would enjoy her company plus she is a retired nurse so useful to have around eh?

I was a bit worried about my mobility as the further I have walked is the hospice canteen (not far) but it seemed I was ok.  We got on the train and I hooked M in law on doing the Guardian crossword to pass the time.  She was very chuffed when we correctly completed it.  Once we arrived in London we grabbed a taxi as usual and headed off to the hospital.  The traffic was moving well so we arrived at around 1pm which is good.

I signed in at reception but they hadn't got my details in so I went straight to the trials reception.  The Trials nurses spotted me and tried to get a dr to come and see me.  One of the Drs sat down and had a chat about my recent health and how I was feeling now.  She was happy that I was generally ok bloods pending.  She mentioned my scans (I had one carried out days before) and if anyone had spoken to me about them.  I said no.  She disappeared and came back with Top Prof in tow.  He pulled no punches and got straight to it and said there had been no discernible change to the cancer.  Bastard.  All this and the bugged was still as big???  I was a bit annoyed though with it.  Prof was explaining that 20% of people respond well to the drug and the cancer melts away, 30% of peoples cancer does nothing, it doesn't spread but neither does it grow.  And finally 50% of people who's cancer continues to grow sadly.  He thinks I am borderline a 30/50% position.  Not great

He explains that they will continue treatment for a while but ultimately if it shows there is still not change then they will refuse further treatment.   So duly signed off for treatment I had my bloods taken and we went to the hotel.  Took M in law to a little local Italian restaurant for dinner which was lovely and settled back at the hotel after.

The news the prof had given me had knocked me back a bit.  I had hoped that I would be on the 20% of the people who cancer responded. Apparently not.

So now I am back to wishing the Bastard to Shrink.   I have got the next treatment but there will also be a scan so please send shrinking thoughts to the Bastard.  They'd be most welcome.

We had the treatment and it went well, despite my fears it would cause a massive reaction,  We were also away in plenty of time to catch our train.  I was quite tired by now and just wanted to get back to go bed even if it was the hospice.  Despite feeling quite tired and sleeping most of the way we completed another crossword ;)

To date I have had little or no major reaction which is really good.  So.  We need to keep thinking shrinking thoughts and hope for the best for May's appointment in London.

Fingers crossed I'm home soon, take care for now all of you.

xxx

Anonymous