im happy so why am i feeling so guilty xx

1 minute read time.

FormerMember

21 Feb 2011

I have not been on here for a while,

Maybe a good thing as life is moving on, im putting the pain and heartbreak behind me, work is just fab ,ive gained so much confidence and my abilites are growing daily, my patients are well looked after and i am a diff person now, cancer and losing ju brought me to my knees ,i saw no way out but i have proved thats not the case ,

Do not get me wrong i will always love ju, he is forever in my heart and in our children everyday i see part of him in them, and i can now smile when i see that instead of crying,

I have as some of you know met a lovely man ,we are taking things as they come , he treats me so well, spoils me rotten ,my house looks like a florist ,luckily my kids help eat all the chocs he buys or id be huge by now ,he is patient and kind and gentle ,just as ju was , and im very happy i have a permanent smile on my face, so why am i feeling so guitly ? well i wasnt till today , friends reaction has been great, except for the odd few who think its wrong, but i dealt with them very publicly and im glad i did , my kids have met rob and like him very much ,so much so they spent the whole evening being a pain in the bum winding us both up ! and he must like them as has invited not just me out for dinner but them too , i think hes mad ,

I had a phone call from my sister in law earleir and i had planned to tell her but she started talking about ju,s one year anniversary on 10th march and i just couldnt tell her i felt so guilty ,most of you know my inlaws are from hell ! so why am i feeling bad ? ju desperatly wanted me to find love again and to be happy , ive now spent the morning in tears ,which is wrong i know that ,i deserve to be happy but i cant help it , thats why i thought blogging might help xx

FormerMember over 13 years ago

hi hun you have to move on hun for so much your sake as the childrens you will never forget and neither will the children and nor would you want to so be happy grab it while you can

love and hugs jen xxxx
- Cancel
- Up 0 Down
- Reply
- More
- Cancel
FormerMember over 13 years ago

Hi Jen - The others have said it all - sent you a PM but no guilt required - enjoy.

Love and Hugs

J xx
- Cancel
- Up 0 Down
- Reply
- More
- Cancel
FormerMember over 13 years ago

Hey Jenni.......good for you girl. Dont you dare feel guilty. Turn it the other way if you had gone and Ju been left here. Would you want him to spend the rest of his life alone. NO YOU WOULDNT. I lost my partner 9 years ago to cancer and swore I didnt want any one else.......not in my hands! I met Mark and wow what an amazing 5 and half years we had together. Sadly lost him to cancer too. I work with a Medium and apparantly Mark has said there is another relationship for me.......but I will only be on loan until I get back to him......Bless him he was and still is so unselfish. I doesnt mean we stop loving or forget our men. Quite the opposite. It is a tribute to the love we shared that we are able to love again......albeit in a different way. If the relationship we had with our Husbands had not been as good as it was.......we would not want another friendship/relationship. Take it from one who knows.....Ju doesnt want to see you sad and lonely. He wants you and your kids to be happy and knows that in no way does it detract from the love you shared. You will always be his wife........it doesnt mean you have to stop living. Life is short as we know. Live it today for tomorrow is promised to no one. Love and Hugs Jenni x x Im proud of you and so is Ju. x
- Cancel
- Up 0 Down
- Reply
- More
- Cancel
FormerMember over 13 years ago

Jennie,

You and your kids are all that is important, not anyone else. You are not here to please your or Ju's family, it's not them living your life or telling you how it should be lived.

I particularly liked Jackie's words about maybe you should think that Ju has dabbled in things and sent Rob to you to help make you whole again and give the children a stable future (not that you haven't done a fantastic job on your own, cos ya have!).

Like everyone says, how we deal with life after the loss of a loved one is individual, there are no rules or guidelines, so do what makes YOU and your children happy and sod the rest, where were they in your darkest hours!

Love & strength, Debs xx
- Cancel
- Up 0 Down
- Reply
- More
- Cancel