Disillusioned with Chat...don't all attack at once!

3 minute read time.

Hi folks,

This has taken me sometime to put together because I know it is a sensitive subject so I hope I have addressed it correctly. 

In February of last year, I stumbled across What Now.  It was at a time when I was feeling very low and alone.  I’ve been living with cancer now since March 2004, so I wish I had come across this site much sooner!  I have since acquired some amazing friends from this site whom I love to bits :0)

I was so nervous when I first went into the chat room, but straight away Rose09 said hi and asked how I was, I told her I was new etc and slowly I revealed my story, I got so much support that evening, I came away feeling so much better knowing I had found this group who knew what I was going through and were happy to listen.

It’s because of the warm welcome, that I have (I hope) always said hello to new people, encouraged them to talk, share their worries.  I remember how nervous I was that first night in chat and I was a “cancer veteran” so to speak, so goodness knows how the newly diagnosed feel when entering chat for the first time, terrified and unsure to say the least.

Now I’m going to throw the cat amongst the pigeons here because I’m sure there are a lot of people who are going to disagree with me.  Let me make this clear, this is MY experience and my opinion of recent events in chat.  I also want to make it clear that this isn’t just since the merge of What Now and Mac, I had issues long before that.

I have felt for some time now disillusioned with chat.  I loved chat, it was somewhere to go and meet people, share good news, share fears, celebrate life and mourn the passing of friends.  However there have been on occasion people who have made what I feel are inappropriate comments.  This site when all is said and done is a Cancer Support Group.  So yes it’s ok to have a laugh etc but it is also ok for people who are having a tough time to talk about their fears or any issues they may be trying to work through, it’s also a place where “newbies” be it newly diagnosed or simply new to the site should be nurtured and encouraged to talk which in turn will make them want to come back, after all surely that is the main aim?  I think it’s unacceptable that some people have been made to feel as if they are spoiling the fun, some of whom have actually even been told so.  We have to remember that it is first impressions that count in chat and if we don’t interact with new visitors then they won’t return and they may be in dire need of the support that we all know we can offer!

I’m not aiming this at anyone in particular, as I have said it is a general observation about the change that seems to have occurred in chat.  I hope it doesn’t last, it will be a shame.  I have thought recently of just not bothering with it, but then I think that is silly and selfish because there will always be days when I need the comfort and support of chat and days where someone may need comfort and support from me, so I’m here to stay and for those of you who have also become disillusioned with chat, I hope you reconsider and come back.  It is after all a fantastic site!

Love and Peace

Indie xx

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    I visited the chat room 3 times in total and was really surprised at the meaningless throwaway conversation.  I also understand though that there's different strokes for different folks and we can't please everyone all the time.  

    Lorraine

    x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Indie,

    You've got it right mate, its not the same as it was.  I hardly ever go in at night as its me an Mrs Mike's time but I often pop in during the day and try to offer any support I can.

    Back in Sep 2008, like you, Rose welcomed me too, with the phrase "Welcome to the site that nobody wants to join, but those who do are glad they did".  I'll always remember that.

    One thing that has struck me though is that some of the chat room 'vets' are missing or don't pop in as much these days, DaveC, Duncan, Rose, Tia Maria, Gerbs, Cazje, Escoffier, to name but a few.

    Couple that with some inappropriate stuff and it must be very off-putting for some; shame really.

    Nevermind, perhaps it will work out.

    Cheers,  Mike

  • was not going to comment, but hey why not, think its a fine line everyone walks in chat and hitting a balance is not easy, I would like to think that I am a caring person and guess like others have cringed sometimes when people in need leave and at comments passed sometimes. I can think of a few occasions when this has happened and have even pointed it out on one occasion as I felt strongly about it.

    But I have also seen much help and support given when people have the courage to say what brought them to the chat room, this afternoon being a great example.

    As others have said perhaps by bring this to everyones attention, for a while, people will be a little more aware, and as said it is easier when not so many are around.

    Hope you feel you can still use chat when you need to as this is what the site needs to be about.

    best wishes

    john

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    hi indie.i actually mentioned the other night in the chat room that i had struggled a couple of times to be involved &everyone was very supportive ,most saying they experienced the same thing at various times .for me i think my frame of mind didnt help & perhaps shouldnt have been there .certainly when i first went on other users generally were very welcoming .

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    it can be hard at night to answer to everybody that comes on, wile some are in a cheery mood, others are sad, its a hard mix, i know were all here for one reason, not the nicest reason in the world.... but if im on, and i dont speak at all its either because the chats going to quick, or im writing, then 5 minutes later i acknowlege a new member come into the chat room, il say hi then, im quite new my self, and some nights, i like to come on and see everyone cheery because it picks me up... like its been said above, if u go in the room for fun, ur always most likely on ur own, and ul miss someone in the other room...