This is my first blog so it probably wont be very good/interesting as my thoughts never materialise well onto ''paper'' but always sound good in my head. Like I said in the title I am just sad today. I keep thinking about what is happening to me and why and then thinking about my children and worrying about them and its all just alot to think about! My daughter who is 5 reminded me that I said she could have my wedding dress when she gets married. (Its a beautiful dress and she loves it, but shes a beautiful girl so they go together.) I said she can have my wedding ring, tiara and veil too if she likes and she then went on to say she will straighten her hair. It hit me that I wont be there to see that day, her looking stunning and happy like I did on my wedding day (happy I mean, I'm not that vain). I am positive about whats to come and the treatment but how much can I realistically expect?? I dont want to leave them and that is what hurts so much I just dont think it really sunk in until today.
FormerMember
Hi everyone
Thankyou so much for all your lovely comments. I found it to be a big weight off my shoulders writing the blog because alot of how I feel and want to say is too much for my friends and family to comprehend. Dont get me wrong I intend to fight like I did the last time and I will do it with every ounce of strength I have in me but that doesnt stop these thoughts popping into my head now and again. But I dont need to tell you all that, I feel you really understood me and that felt greatly reassuring.
