Mentally he is in a dark place as well, this run up to a scan is always difficult , all sorts of things start to play on your mind at the best of times. This time of course, with feeling so tired , the anxiety is even greater, which in itself doesn’t help with how you feel.
We both worry that this is the start of the next phase, all the usual fears come right back to the surface and you realise how much mental strength and sheer bloodymindedness you need to keep fighting this and continue with your life.
He has taken a few more of the energy drinks we had left from the chemo days, as at time is too tired to eat much. I keep hoping it is another bug, although it isn’t the pneumonia as no coughing at all with this one. In fact the cough has disappeared completely.
Right now we are back in that twilight zone of hoping that each morning will bring better news.
