slipping away

1 minute read time.

There have been some developments with DIL in the last few days. He has become even more immobile and unresponsive. He complains of pains pretty much everywhere now. I don't understand this since we were told he was on morphine (oramorph, I think) and I had hoped that would blot it all out. The care home says the dosage may need to be adjusted as he is much sleepier (suggesting the dose is too high, maybe? but then why is he in pain?).

Yesterday the home was talking of obtaining a different kind of bed for him so that he could be more upright in bed, and today they've arranged for a Macmillan nurse to visit him 4 times a day. The first visit is tomorrow when J will go along too to see if he can get more information on what exactly is happening. Oh, and they're now wondering about taking him into a hospice (to my mind, the BEST possible option) which makes me wonder if all his problems ARE from the cancer, that it's spread.

We were told there was no other site of cancer apart from the prostate and that was supposedly slow-growing and nothing was necessary apart from hormone tablets. To look at him, you would think he wasn't long for this world. And yet this evening, apparently, he had been roused from his sleepy state and had eaten. (They've started to puree his food into mush which he can manage from a spoon). J talks about his dad 'rallying' but I can't believe it.

J's sister was keen to have him transferred to a care home in Appleby (an attractive place overlooking the river) and there was talk of DIL being wheeled out into the gardens. I may have this completely wrong, but I'd be surprised if he lasted the week in the state he is now. According to J, his dad is pretty much comatose and doesn't appear to be reacting much to anything. I am reminded of my dad's final days...

It's a daily routine of tension and leaping out of our seats when the phone happens to ring. And waiting (without acknowledging it) for That Call in the night to say he's died.

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember
    Oh no, just sending you a big hug xxxxxx
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Waiting always sucks, to put it mildly. Waiting, and not knowing. I can't really hope that everything will work out well; it doesn't sound as though it will. (Things may change, I suppose.) The only good thing is that you're prepared for the worse, so it won't come as as much of a shock as it might otherwise.

    Not the most cheering-up reply in the world. Ignore it, I'll just send hugs instead.

    xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    A big hug to you to keep you going during this time. I'm afraid I can't help thinking that at 97 you know what is going to happen and its ok cos he's really really old and that is what happens..... sad for you I know.

    Sorry, not any more cheering either so have a hug from me too and hang on in there.

    xxxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Just sending more hugs for you and family xxxx

    Love Roobs xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    So sorry your DIL and you & family are having to endure this, and hope things improve ( in whatever way seems best, if that doesn't sound too weird). Hospice seems the best option.

    love & hugs,

     xxx