337 days later ......

Hello everyone.

So you thought I drop off this planet, well nope I did not.

Let me bring you up to speed, after my operation, life seemed to return to normal, I had the 6 weeks off work, but when I returned things just did not seem to be the same, as someone whom works for the railway I have to do shift work, my memory seemed to not hold information.

Had a brilliant Christmas had all my children round and even my parents and brother, now that a miracle, as my parents are firm believers that everybody should visit them for Christmas.

This now brings us up to date, I have had silly colds, shingles, and feeling run down, I don’t get colds, but then again I did miss the free injection at work. Shingles blimley that was a shock, I had a spot just below my bra line on my back, which I picked, next thing my partner tells me days later I have more red spots, and as I now had a pain below my ribs off I went to be greeted with you immune system is run down have time off work and you got singles. Did my youngest caught chicken pox, nope !

Couple of weeks later I then had my 6 months check up, (vault smear) everything looking good, but a a week later things just did not feel right ‘down there’, so off I went another urine test / swab down and bingo confirmed I had a infection, put on course of tablets for a month

On Sunday 3^rd June, I found out that my x boss had died of cancer via facebook, ok I knew his time was near, hence the reason for what my work colleagues and myself are going on Sunday 17^th June, a 10 mile walk around London raising money for Macmillan, but to find it out on face book!

I have also had to do a blood test done, as GP surgery were concerned over my kidney function, well you guess what got to have a repeat test done as again the kidney function is below par and then go and see the GP, can I get a blood test appointment, nope again I have to await for 2^nd July.

Well it all came to head on evening of Monday 11^th June, on Friday I started to pick silly arguments’ with my partner he was going for the weekend, looking back it was the depression coming at me full steam, I met up with him on his return Monday he informed me that he had being texting a female friend of ours and they were not simple hello texts, and that was it a red rag to the bull, I totally flipped out, the tears would not stop, my life was not worth it etc. After a one side screaming match, me telling him that was it our relationship was over etc, we sat on a train going to pick the car up, and I took an overdose.

I was taken to A&E at hospital, where I was spoken to etc by the senior Dr, whom confirmed that I had not done myself damaged but I need to see the psychiatrist team, after speaking to him, it all can tumbling out, that even thou I had recovered I needed support so did my partner Tim. I was referred back to my GP, but I can’t get an appointment till 4^th July!

Today 13^th June, I made a decision and spoke to Macmillan and asked for help they were wonderful she listen to what I had to say and now I have been signposted to my local support group.

It has taken me 377 days to realise that I need help, I have feelings that have been buried and it time to get my life totally back on track.

But to leave you all on a happy note, something good has come out of this, I cant tell you yet as Tim needs to speak to my father first. :-)