This is my first blog so it probably wont be very good/interesting as my thoughts never materialise well onto ''paper'' but always sound good in my head. Like I said in the title I am just sad today. I keep thinking about what is happening to me and why and then thinking about my children and worrying about them and its all just alot to think about! My daughter who is 5 reminded me that I said she could have my wedding dress when she gets married. (Its a beautiful dress and she loves it, but shes a beautiful girl so they go together.) I said she can have my wedding ring, tiara and veil too if she likes and she then went on to say she will straighten her hair. It hit me that I wont be there to see that day, her looking stunning and happy like I did on my wedding day (happy I mean, I'm not that vain). I am positive about whats to come and the treatment but how much can I realistically expect?? I dont want to leave them and that is what hurts so much I just dont think it really sunk in until today.
FormerMember
Hi Chrissy
Your words made me sad too. I can't begin to imagine how it must feel for you, but I have an idea of some of the thoughts that are running around your head. My sister is expecting her first grandchild in September, and thought she would never be here to see him born. (according to the doctors she should have left us last year), she talks to me about some of those feelings. I take my hat off to all of you who live with those fears and thoughts every day, amd may I wish you all the best of luck with your fight against this terible disease. I feel very humble reading everyone's blogs and am priviledged to have made so many friends on this site. May you all continue to fight
I'm sorry to hear your prognosis but you have come to the right place for support. This horrible disease takes us on a roller-coater ride but please don't give up - as Jo Mac has said, there are folks who are here long after some ridiculous 'sell-by' date predicted by the docs. Keep blogging and also respond to other members' postings and you will soon find a galaxy of 'star' fellow-patients and carers to offer you support and advice.
i feel so sad for you too ,its heartbreaking for anybody to be diagnosed with cancer but i think its even more devastating when you have a family and young children that need you.
i understand and appreciate how you are feeling as i too have cancer and young children.
i have 5 in all my youngest is a baby of only 16 months, i am not scared for myself but fearful about what would happen to them if anything happended to mummy .....i find it to unbearable to think about all the what ifs so i dont any more i just focus on getting better .
one really positive thing that will come from having the children tho will be the strength to fight, if you ever needed a reason to keep going they will be it,you'll do it for them .....
i wish you all the luck in the world and hope your battle wont be a hard one ,please keep me updated as to how you get on
I'm in a simalar situation and feel your sadness!!!! I have simalar feelings about my children and what I am going to miss, but I was diagnosed in feb and have a bit of time to think things thru, I have done with my crying, and want now to embrace every moment everything seems magnified now, and I'm going to make the most of the time I have left as much as possible and laugh in the face of this horrible disease!! Just to let you know you are not alone in this and take a deep breath and just ---carry on, thats all you can do. You take care and remember embrace every moment, get yourself a really good camera and take some memorable pics!!!
Aww Chrissi, first let me say your blog was fine. So keep on blogging. Next, I am so sorry to hear of your diagnosis. Cancer is a mean and indiscriminate illness. It has no scruples and no-one knows when it is going to strike. You made me cry when I read your blog because it is so unfair and because you are just one year younger than my daughter. As for looking stunning and happy, that is exactly how you look in your profile picture. Good luck with your future treatments. x x Angel Hugs x x
