What, I'm not Superwoman?

1 minute read time.

My friend called on Sunday, to ask if it was okay for him to stay on Friday. Of course I said it was fine but reminded him that I had my operation on Tuesday and I might not be my usual hostess self.

Friday came and although I was tired, cooking wasn't impossible. Thanks to the dishwasher I didn't have to clean up too. Friday became Saturday and I was starting to flag. He doesn't do sitting down, so he drove me for a brief trip to a garden centre and a DIY shop, by dinner time cooking was hard work. When Saturday became Sunday, I cooked the last dinner, then I crashed. I went to bed at 7pm in tears of exhaustion and pain. Three days was too much. He leaves this morning.

I've always been a doggedly determined independent person. After spinal surgery I cruised a 14 ton boat single handed in storm and tempest (I'm paying for it now though). So I thought this op being significantly smaller would be a breeze. Op on Tuesday, up about by Friday. I was wrong.

One kind soul here read my message of woe and gave me sage advice. After which I have decided, no more guests unless they're willing to cook, clean and tidy up. I've discovered for myself cancer doesn't just hit you physically, it hits you mentally too. The passing years have been cruel and my super powers have most definitely worn off. It's time to take notice of my battle scars and learn from them.

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    I know you were right Denzilpants, just needed the proverbial kick where the sun doesn't shine to act on it! ;)

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Moonbat, I know where you are coming from. I was a very fit 46 year young, fully employed, sparetime instructor, motorbike riding nutcase who only sat down to sleep. I've spent the last year learning how different things are now with cancer. I've just had my second op and am due to start my second lot of chemo treatment (my cancer came back after a few months).

    You really must do things at your pace. If people want to visit me I arrange a date then say text or phone me about half hour before you come to see if I'm still up to it and don't be afraid to say no. My sister does my ironing and I'm lucky that my husband is with me all the time.

    Take care of yourself first

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Kermy

    I'm so sorry to hear it returned so quickly, that's utter pants and very tough.

    I think you and I sound quite similar in many ways. I'm not used to slowing down even when I don't feel well and have fought against it until now. Being single, I'm worried about being well enough to keep a roof over my head. I think that's the main reason I've tried to carry on as usual, and have crashed.

    It's very helpful to read how you and others keep your guests organised, I would never have given it a thought before last weekend. I rarely get visitors but will definitley let them know to check before visiting. Still a lot to learn!

    Thanks for posting :)

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Wow this really hits home to me my best friend rang me everyday for morning chat on the way back from school run since having cancer rarely phoned when she does tails about her new keep or me hoilday what's that all about. ' !!

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Warrior k, it's such a shame some of our friends give little thought to their actions or words. I don't know if it's fear or just plain selfishness, either way they're not worth loosing sleep over. That much I have learnt x