Happy Easter guys from the bird. Well today I have to find some energy from somewhere and keep myself busy, I have five compost bins to empty and that should take awhile, lovely up to my neck in s**t!!!! Twelve years ago today I met Kev and thought I had met the person I would spend the rest of my life with WRONG, I won't lie and say that at this point in my life it doesn't hurt being alone in my greatest hour of need but choices had to be made and luckily for me I am strong but if you cut me, I do bleed the same as everyone else so I really need to take my mind off this and keep myself occupied. I am waiting for Thursday for my scan results, I think this will be the time when more choices have to be made on the quality of my life, which at the moment is pretty poor and the old bird needs to be in company and causing havoc not sitting in the house day after day on my own, oh no no, so Thursday can't come quick enough for me. I am not talking about giving up, that will never happen but sometime you have to look outside the box at the bigger picture. Yesterday it was my beautiful daughter's birthday, Toni my first born is now 31 and I don't know where 31 years have gone, it only seems like 5 minutes ago that she was born, oh scary stuff, the greatest gift she has given me is being there at the births of her 3 children, especially the last one Lyra because I was two years over my sell by date when she came into the world!!!!! My crazy son Karl is working all the hours he can at the moment so I hardly see him, he breezes in like a whirlwind and is gone again. I have been invited on Thursday to the staff party at the club so depending on the scan results I may or may not go we shall see, I could do with a drink and a chance to swing my pants on the dance floor even though I will need two weeks to recover and that would be from one dance!!! He He. Right guys I had better try and crack on. Sending love and hugs to those who want them....Carol xx
I am not dying of cancer, I am living with it
