Time passes slowly

1 minute read time.

I used to love Saturdays. I'd leave the alarm set, get up at the usual time, feed the cats, clean the litter trays, make a cup of coffee, and then take it back to bed and snuggle up with Phoebe and Sounds of the 60s. But Phoebe's been gone for four years now, and the NuCats aren't much for snuggling: they want to head out for a frolic as soon as they've had their breakfast. And, now that I'm not at work, Saturdays are much like any other day: just an empty space to be filled as best I can. Which isn't very; which, in turn, makes me feel guilty and miserable.

Sometimes I worry that I'm turning into my mother. I'm not as prejudiced, or as right-wing as she was - at least, not yet. But, like her, I wear the same frumpy old clothes, day in, day out; I sit endlessly doing nothing; I can't be bothered to eat properly; I occasionally throw food over myself. I haven't yet started pooing myself, but I daresay it can be only a matter of time.

My lovely friend Joan tried to help with the problem and found me this list of hobbies: http://www.notsoboringlife.com/list-of-hobbies/. It's supposed to be comprehensive, but I see they have omitted 'watching paint dry' and 'yearning for merciful death', either of which would be as attractive as anything on the list. Although both Joan and I were very taken by 'rocking AIDS babies'. #1 is that actually a thing, and #2 how does it work, do you just walk into a children's ward and grab a sick kid? Whatever.

So you can imagine how thrilled I was when I visited the oncology department the Monday before last to have my post-chemo assessment and was told it would probably be another three months of wait-and-see. Another three months of boredom; or not even boredom, that would at least be some kind of actual sensation. Three months of nothing.

Which is why I was actually quite pleased when the doctor phoned me last Monday to say that the team had decided to do another laparoscopy and see what was going on with Mr Crab. It isn't much; but it's something to look forward to.

If anyone has any better ideas, please let me know.

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Not much I can add to our lovely warpy friends above. Just reading through the replies makes me smile in a contented way, it's nice to have support from friends who understand, so I hope it helps a little.

    You really are going through a rough time at the moment and I do hope the laparoscopy brings light and solutions to get rid of stupid Mr Crab for good.

    When I was stuck in with my asthma Dunc bought me a games console and I became a games addict. You really can spend all day on the thing. I also have a DS handheld gamer now, which keeps me sane when I go to appointments or hossie.

    Huge hugs and much love to you Hilary.

    Take care

    Jan xxxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Hils

    Hang on in there. As you know i joined warpdom a year ago....two years after treatment had finished, still lethargic, and early retirement forced on me, no confidence. The treatment was a doddle it was the aftermath....dealing with the destruction after the storm.

    Being a warpy has helped as I found many friends who are feeling the same as me, and although it did not deal with the "Who am I now?" question I know that I am not alone. You were one of the first people who got in touch with me and you have done so much to make me feel better, and i wish there was something I could say or do to help you back.

    Music (of many kinds) has been my salvation, and my many friends, and now i seem to be so busy catching up with the things I missed out on that my life is beginning to feel full and purposeful again, but it has taken a few years.

    When i had a couple of sessions with a cancer psychotherapist last year I had to write down the positive things i could do.......things like having more time to listen to others, spending time with friends (not a hurried cup of coffee, when i was working) and family. Each of our situations is different, and we have to find what is right for us, and recognise that our life is going to be different.

    Good luck for the procedure, and giant hugs XXXXXXXXX

    PS Colin, it was lovely to hear about your trip to the cafe. Its the simple things that we have to learn to appreciate more

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hils, when you're my age, time passes too quickly! That's no help to you at all of course, and I well remember the frustration of feeling too poorly to do anything beyond having a quick sluice down in the bath.

    It occurred to me while I was perusing (hey, get me!) that list of hobbies that, given your unusually well-developed command of English and your interest in quizzes, you'd be a great crossword-setter. Why not make a grid or two, fit some words in (not easy, I've tried & got completely muddled), then think up some devilishly cryptic clues? You might find it mildly amusing, & it would exercise those little grey cells that M. Poirot blethers on about. It might also lead to payment, if you sent them to various newspapers etc. I've watched beloved struggling with the Grauniad's Saturday crossword, & enjoyed his glee when he manages to finish it - and it's hard!

    Anyway at least something's moving vis-a-vis Mr. Crab, I suspect his days are now numbered. Don't tell him though. It's our secret, ok?

    Love & hugs,

    Annie xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Hilary... did you miss me?? did you did you??? :)

    I would suggest sleeping in a yurt with a woodburner as that takes up a lot of time just keeping warm etc but I suspect that would not do for you and your ensuite-loving tendencies....

    Kittens. One is never bored with a kitten to watch. Sod how many you already have they will just have to get on. Otherwise, write cos you are good at that.

     In 3 weeks time, I will be in hospital and bored out of my mind so get your strength up for words with friends challenges and silliness and chat with me.

    Otherwise, its crap, I know and I wish I could fill your life with fun and health.

    I am too tired to write after my week with teenagers and outdoors and all that so that's all you get for now, sorry.

    I missed you she whispered

    Little My xxx

     

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    ps I forgot about the scary lapar whotisit thingy. Do you know when they are going to do that? Good luck with it.

    I know you are bored, but I am sure we can think up funner ways to pass the time than surgery....

    Oooooh we can compare scars- that'll while away oooh hmmm  minutes I reckon.

    xxxxx