God tempers all the winds to the new-shorn lamb/The Devil knows the Bible like the back of his hand

4 minute read time.

- which is merely my way of saying that I got fed up of the stupid fluffy bits that were left on my scalp and I got Judy to razor them off, going for the full Magwitch. It looks a bit bizarre, but at least I am now in no danger of being pulled in by the fuzz. (A painful procedure, at best.)

So. Anyway ...

According to my Little Red Chemo Book, my regimen - it is regimen, dear children, not regime, trust me on this, I'm an editor - is now Carbo/Taxol - Taxol. "That'd be Carbo, then," I said brightly. You would think that having only to be poisoned with one drug would result in a swifter recovery rate, and so it would if there were any justice in the world, but here we are, more than ten days later, and I still feel rotten. Meh, I say.

You would also think that having to take only one drug, discounting steroids and flushes and so forth, would be a whole lot quicker than the old six-hour procedure, but by the time you take into account the usual delays, the absence of a chemo nurse, the absent chemo nurse being Rosita, someone on the ward having an adverse reaction, and three goes with the cannula, we spent longer waiting for the chemo to start than the chemo itself actually took. Still, we have our own ways of amusing ourselves. You can play 'patient or carer?', which is by no means always obvious, and 'wig or not-wig?' - the trick here is to look for anything too perfect - and 'who's going to throw up first, please don't let it be me', and also 'are you trying complementary naturopathy, or do you actually enjoy chomping your way through an entire Tupperware of raw vegetables?' ... that one really needs a snappier name, although it's probably a one-off anyway, I doubt I'll find myself sitting next to the same woman again.

The chemo, when it finally arrived, and when I was finally cannulated, went off okay, except that the needle suddenly started to really, really hurt about ten minutes before the dose finished. I don't know if maybe a vein collapsed? I don't know what that would feel like. Either way, my arm is still quite sore now, and the bruise from the cannula is frankly magnificent.

On the upside, we didn't have to avail ourselves of Sainsbury's facilities on the way home. Really, it was very clever and thoughtful of Sainsbury's to open up a branch with a customer loo halfway between hospital and home. I should thank them. Possibly by buying something there. You know. Ever.

That was Monday - the Monday before Christmas, not the Monday just gone. On the Tuesday we had to be back at the Churchill again, this time for the chest clinic. Much to my woe, the lovely Naj wasn't there. We got a little girl - I'm sorry to be patronising, but the Churchill really does specialise in what I am sure are fully trained and highly specialised medical staff who look about twelve and weigh maybe 90 pounds soaking wet - who took my complaints of gaspiness and chest pains seriously enough to send me for a CT scan. She offered the charming suggestion that chemo might have given me blood clots on my lungs. My. Wouldn't that be fun, if true? I will spare you any suspense: nothing showed up on the scan, and even the original pleural effusion seems to be shrinking. So, clearly I am just making it up to put on airs. *sigh*

So home we went, and there was my brother and sister-in-law, and a whole lot of frozen vegetables. The veg came as a bit of a surprise (Tim and Michelle we were expecting), but Tim explained that they were to help make cooking Christmas dinner a bit easier. And so they did, and very thoughtful it was.

The BoyCat decided to spread his own version of Christmas cheer by refusing to come in for two nights and then vanishing altogether. It was probably a protest against all the people we'd had in the house; Penny had stayed the previous weekend (and had brought another lovely knitted blankie for me to wrap myself up in), and then the GC came, and then Lynn came to stay over Christmas, and then some people from work stopped in for a visit ... BoyCats do not approve of such goings-on. Although, given that the last time he vanished was on Hallowe'en, maybe he just has somewhere better to be on solstices. He was finally persuaded in on Christmas Eve, so we all settled down to have a lovely Christmas.

And we did. And god bless us all, said Tiny Tim. Especially the cats, who bought me a Slanket (there is a theory that it's actually their Slanket, but they'll let me borrow it to warm it up for them). And all the other people who bought me many, many lovely things - all of whom, I am embarrassed to admit, I still owe thank-you letters.

But what I have mostly been doing is sleeping. I do believe that the Tuesday of the chest clinic was in fact the last time I left the house. Which is a bit bad. As I write this, I am trying to muster up the energy to stagger - and by 'stagger' I mean 'get Judy to drive me' - up to the doctor's to pick up a prescription, and then into town to get it filled. Running out of codeine would be a pooey start indeed to the New Year.

A New Year that I do very much hope will be better than 2011. 2011 sucked!

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Hilary, I'm not a real Brummie like Sarah but I've lived here nearly 17 years and almost understand what they're saying. Black Country dialect ( the yam-yam) is virtually impenetrable though. Fortunately the written word suffers no such misinterpretation (oh yeah, I hear you say ...)

    Cannula bruises, collapsing veins, stinging -  ah yes, I remember it well. And I too was once sat near a Tupperware woman chomping her way through its contents. Far worse though was being sat opposite people having blood transfusions - that made me feel so queasy.  But you've only 1 more session to go, lucky old you! Then you can put it all in the past tense, and grow your hair. And get out more!

    We had 2 visiting cats yesterday, Slinky & Teasel, sister and brother that loathe each other. Sounds familiar? They were pretty well behaved and stayed in, despite being offered a chance to stretch their legs and explore the garden after being cooped up for a two-hour car journey. Mind you, they are too well-mannered even to chase my daughter's chickens ( or are they scaredy-cats?). They didn't give me a Slanket though, in fact they got presents (edible) from me. Shame.

    Hurrah for pressies! My daughter surprised me with a subscription to The Oldie (she's so tactful) and the Annual, plus a gorgous cashmere-mix jumper from John Lewis, and chocs, and Philip Kerr's latest Bernie Gunther novel, so I did pretty well. In fact in the jumper department I'm swamped because beloved bought me two! He got some special single malt Scotch and a DVD of I'm sorry I Haven't a Clue with the dear, sadly-departed Humphrey Lyttelton, so was mightily pleased.

    I'm relieved & pleased that you not only have NO blood clots on your lungs, but also have a shrinking effusion. Terrific! It probably is just the chemo making you breathless then. And Hurrah! for sleep and lots of it. Beloved has gone to bed already - we have to face a family funeral tomorrow & he's rather upset. I'm going to watch the last of Gt. Exp. in a mo, so will sign off. Thanks for your blog, & I second Sarah's request - keep 'em coming! Alright? Sorry, I can't do it in Brummie ...

    Hove & lugs,

    Annie xxx  

     

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hello my fave crabby lady.

    Glad you found enough spoons to regale us with your past week. I like to play carer or patient too at the clinic and on bum day its quite hard sometimes....

    You could pretend you were me, cos I didn't leave the house for about 4 days out of choice and only went out the day on either side cos the doctors seemt to think its a Christmas treat to shove their fingers up your arse. Maybe it is for them... weirdos!

    Hoorah for not going to Sainbury's. I suspect I was on the loo for you that day.

    Have you ever read Jenny and the cat club? I suspect you have, as you seem to have read everything else. I suspect boycat has friends a la Jenny and Solstice parties to attend. He may be a familiar too... hahaaa.

    I am intrigued that you get frozen vegetables turning up at your door for Christmas. Mine tend to not walk to the house, however hard I poke them with a stick... lucky you. Maybe they will bring their friend Cake with them next time. Oh and you are excused thank you letters cos you can play a cancer card for that.

    Hoorah for enjoying Christmas and here's to a good year ahead. Now, there was something else I wanted to say, let me look on the back of my hand..... oh, its gone :D

    Lots of love and spoons to you and codeine too! Cos as you say, that would be pooey.

    Little My xxx

     

  • Hi Hilary

    my punktiatshon is awful and my gramer even worse but I know you are totally correct about regimes and regimens as I was always telling my staff off about saying a patients treatment regime instead of regimen.

    I have not experienced chemo first hand I have only seen the results of it when my friends went through chemo and RT

    They said the treatment was worse than the disease.It was hard enough to see that I cant imagine what it is like to have no option but to go through it

    .It was one of my biggest fears that I would have to go through chemo after my diagnosis I even arranged for my friends daughter to cut my hair off if it was to happen she said she would dye it rainbow colours when it grew back.

    When I go for my follow ups the waiting area is all men discussing the mysteries of the prostate so I get a thorough education as there is never any other women and I seem to be the only one who's had kidney cancer.

    Oh and ouch for collapsing and hard to find veins Iam always told what great veins I have they stand to attention as soon as a needle comes near them but sometimes I get someone who is useless at stabbing and they don't half make a dogs dinner of it.

    After all the breathlessness and a CT you'd think that a reason for it would be found and then get a treatment regimen to deal with it bloody disappointing to say the least.

    My cat which I had for 13 years used to go missing for days on end I spent so much time searching for him and worrying but he would just stroll in days later not a care in the world

    Good and thoughtful friends bringing frozen veg great idea where's the cake?

    this shitty year (hello moderator)will soon be gone and here's hoping next year is a good one 

    more love more spoons and biggest of hugs 

    Crutonxxxxxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Hils

    Hope you are settled with a bostin' cuppa tae! For Black Country folk, someone shared a great version of 12 days of Christmas with me....7 riffy socks, 2 tasty faggots and a bostin' mug of tae....its on You tube!

    Yep, you'd think the more drugs they pump into you the quicker they'd get rid of Mr C, and less chance of relapse. Perhaps the recovery rate is to do with how much of the bloody stuff they pump into you. Used to piss me off when my husband reckoned he looked more likely to be the sufferer than me....should have tried to be on the other side Buster, even though usually I did look better than him :-)

    Hurray for thoughtful brothers (not many men would have been that thoughtful). Frozen veg, get in there!

    And I'm sure that the cats would love you to use their slanket as your need is greater than theirs.

    Hurray for sleep! Getting out for a walk is too overated, especially in the wind and pouring rain.

    Love to you and Judy for 2012.

    Louise xxxxxxxxxx