Thoughts from the frontline - 21

Well, we are now here. The day I go back into hospital for "the big one". And the most important thing for me to say today is THANK YOU. Everybody who reads my rambling utterings on this site has helped me get through these 43 days since we found this cancer inside my bladder. I think that without this site and the support of you lot I would have probably fallen apart way more than I actually have. Now I know that as far as having a good, switched on, coordinated medical team I am lucky to be living close to a hospital which has a fantastic reputation and it is well deserved. I know I am lucky in having a great set of family and friends who have risen to the challenge to join in my support group to help me have fun when I want to and just help when I need something. And I am very lucky to have my T. She told me after our party on Saturday that her Dad had told her that "I have been proud of you at many times in your life but never more than I am proud of you now". Alan, I humbly agree about your daughter. I was going to update you all on the last 24 hours before this morning but T (tgirl) has done that in her blog last night. Short version: Got up early and drove to Brighton. Took lots of photos, had a fab fishy lunch, walked and walked, got slightly sunburnt (sorry oh medical team) drove home, had lovely simple tea, watched some dvd's then bed for a final night of togetherness before the forced parting. My battle against this cancer started 43 days ago but my operation on early Thursday morning will be our first major offensive in this battle we will be fighting for the rest of my life. It is not a battle I wanted. It is a battle that I think is unfair. Like all you out there, why me? I'm not a bad person. Why does shit have to happen? But it is a battle that I will be fighting with all my effort going forward. I like life and I want more of it. Bless you all, thanks for all you love and best wishes. Thanks for being there for me. I'm there for you and we will never have to fight this on our own. Speak soon ;-) Andrew xxxxxxxxx