Last chemo done and dusted! 4th April 2013

3 minute read time.

My sixth and last FEC chemo was on the 22nd April.  The side effects hit me harder again this time, but here I am nearly two weeks on and I'm slowly recovering and I am feeling better each day.  The sun is shining and that always makes you feel better!

The hypnotherapy sessions to tackle my needle phobia, particularly with the cannular insertion, definitely helped and I would recommed it to anyone with the same fear. Having a reflexologist there too whilst the nurse is inserting the cannular helped too.  The nurse struggled to find a decent vein again and ended up calling up a more experienced nurse from another ward to do it and thankfully she got it in first time.

The fatigue has been the most frustrating side effect of treament.  Because I was suffering from ongoing fatigue for months before diagnosis, I cant remember what it was like to have normal energy levels.  I find it hard to get across to people how different fatigue is from tiredness.  I will be returnig to work in a few months time and have no idea how I am going to be able to get up when the alarm clock goes off first thing in the morning!! 

My mouth ulcers have got worse over the last two months and the constipation caused by the chemo has resulted in very painful piles to the extent where my doctor has referred  me to general surgery to have them removed.  The last neulasta injection made every bone in my body hurt, two days later including my cheek bones!  Thankfully, this only lasted a couple of days. Nasal drip is a real nuisance too.  I am constantly sniffing or blowing my nose and the drip down the back of my throat is yuk!  Apparently this is due to the loss of nasal hairs, so there is nothing for the nasal secretions to adhere themselves too - nice! 

I have a month off before radiotherapy starts and I will be spending a week of it resting and reflecting in a lovely apartment overlooking a beach in the Gower.  I am going on my own as thats what I need, but I have a couple of friends and family coming to visit me for walks on the beach.

My visits to the gym has decreased over the last two months, to be replaced by resting in bed, but I am hoping to get back to three classes a week now that I am picking up.

Tomorrow night is the night of the cancer research ball that my niece and I have organised as part of the fundraising for my niece taking part in the London marathon.  We have raised over £3,000 so far and I am so proud that we have turned my cancer diagnosis into something so positive.  There are 200 guests coming and the night will be fun packed.  The amazing auction and raffle prize donations are still coming in - the generousity has been overwhelming.  The room will be oozing love tomorrow night - I can't wait!!

The end of chemo marks a new phase in my cancer journey, which is far from over, but my approach and reaction to my cancer has changed dramatically since diagnosis last September.  I feel stronger and brighter now.  My sense of humour and positive outlook on life has never left me and I hug and tell people how much I love them more.  This is the me that I present to the world.  Inside, cancer has left me more vulneralbe, less confident, sad and fearful.  Sometimes these feelings overwhem me and I have a good old cry, then I pack the feelings away and get on with living and enjoying my life the best I can.  I have learnt to let my negative feelings out over the last few months instead of trying ot bury them.  Letting them out and facing them is a braver thing to do and it is also healing and very normal. 

I am a big collector of inspiring quotes and this is my latest favourite one - " don't lose the joy of living in the fear of dying"

Love Gale xx

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