February 8th My dongle’s not working in this room! Wait for bloods to come back then 9.15pm start eating 12 simpsons ice poles to try and numb mouth before Melphalan. 20 minute infusion. Half dozed off after the 7th lolly for 10 minutes - wonder if I’ll pay for that lapse in concentration later…Then etoposide 8 x 3-hourly bags + ondansetron for anti-sickness. No sleep tonight then. 1st two ok then they decide to get blood while they’re at it. Line very sluggish then she draws a clot out of it. She’s not happy to continue in case she pushes something into my system and calls for doc who’ll maybe prescribe urokinase to dissolve any clots in the line (takes half an hour) or we’ll have to use a cannula. Need to remind her about my next dose of ondansetron - just starting to feel a bit nauseous…Weighed to make sure I’m not retaining all the fluid I’m getting. It’s 5.30am now and I’m writing this whilst waiting to see what’s next… February 9th-11th I think they’re being overly cautious with my line - the problem’s getting blood out, not getting stuff in. The 24-hour chemo eventually finishes at 5am on Wednesday. There’s an hour delay twice because “no-one told me your bag had finished”. I hurled quite spectacularly all over my bed on Tuesday morning and that set the tone for the week. Antisickness meds aren’t working - one of them (Cyclazin?) makes me dizzy and nauseous - a winning combination. Someone’s decided it’s time I earned my keep as I feel like cr*p this week. The vomiting is a relief - I can’t stand the nausea though. Anyway enough of that - haven’t eaten or drunk all week; haven’t been weighed either and ‘my’ consultant is on holiday on Friday so won’t be doing the stem cell bit so I’m not feeling as charitable towards the nurses who come in an hour after I’ve asked for more anti sickness “Ee, I got distracted! Do you want some anti-sickness?” when they’ve been nattering in the corridor for the last ten minutes and doing God knows what before that (I know they’ll have been doing their job with other patients but…) February 12th Different nurse comes and gets blood out of my line first time - a good sign. We’d already decided that I would have my cells back through a cannula instead of my line just in case. The registrar who’s doing it can’t get the cannula in so phones a friend. While he’s doing that, I throw up again - quite pleased because didn’t want to be retching as my cells are going in! Another doc gets cannula in other arm and 15 minutes later it’s all done. Two little bags are in and I smell like tinned sweet corn. My taxi arrives an hour early to take me to Middlesbrough. Journey was fine and the driver chatted on enough to distract me from feeling sick. Got to familiar hospital and nurse says we’ll check your bloods and you can probably go home for the weekend! Ha ha! Smiling like Cheshire Cat! Also gave me some caphosol, johnr! The rep had left it with them that very afternoon. It’s a new mouthwash designed to reduce the effects of oral mucositis - ulcers, swellings etc which hurt a lot and can make it difficult/impossible to eat. I’m hoping it’ll help even though I had chemo 5 days ago. We’ll see… Thanks again for messages and comments - it is much appreciated! Love kx
