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My journey through ovarian cancer - findings, tips and tricks.
The three month check is due on Friday and I have had my blood taken in preparation. If I do not get the all clear I will be devastated. Not so much from the treatment point of view but it putting my life on hold. Already we want to do things but have to wait the results "just in case". Last year was a constant wait as we went from one medical appointment to the next. Don't know if it is just me but I would like to be able to access my blood results and scans so I can have a look for myself and not have to wait for the appointments. I hate being in limbo.
The holiday was a disaster. The apartment was bitterly cold and I slept with a cardigan on - unknown of where on the coldest night in UK I am pushing off the one blanket as I am feeling hot. Well at least I had meals put in front of me and I only went out twice in the whole two months. My energy levels were so low that I could not even finish one dance. Maybe this is not the chemo treatment but more to do with when I collapsed before Christmas. Got a strange pain in my stomach and an indentation I can stick my finger along which I reported to my lovely Mac nurse and will be checked out on Friday.
I know - I need a holiday to get over the holiday!
I should be feeling on top of the world with holidays coming up but I am not. The chemo brain shows no sign of disappearing - I am feeling constantly fuzzy and is made worse when I try to do anything. I am going in circles my brain doesn't want to think straight. Cooking is a nightmare and takes so long. I forget about pans put on and light ovens without remembering to remove the contents. No accidents but it greatly concerns me. I am struggling to remember things that should come off the top of my head. I have given up on earrings as they are too fiddly to put in and the holes are now sealed. and I feel scared - which I know is silly as I have nothing to be scared about.. I wander around of a night unable to sleep as though I am in the midst of an unseen nightmare.
Given a choice I would go to bed and not get up. Roll on the holiday and some rest where I dont have to think about anything. Perhaps it is sub concious fear of the next hospital appointment.
It's there in black and white on the insurance letter - I am in remission!
I had been complaining for some months now that I was feeling as though I was walking like a drunk. Well I collapsed. I was just stood in a crowd not doing anything and down I went and got stretchered off. My pulse was racing.
I was sent home with instructions if I didnt feel well not to bother with the doctor but to dial for emergency services. I took it easy but my heart was racing and I had to go and see the doctor. The ECG was ok, and he took another blood test. My pulse was racing and he gave me some beta blockers. These worked! My heart stopped racing, the dull ache in my head and chest went. At night I no longer wake up feeling like a furnace.
During my chemo my blood pressure was taken only a couple of times. On reflection I feel perhaps this should also be done when they do the blood test.
I suppose now the doctor will have to find the root cause of my racing pulse. I am not too worried as I intend booking a holiday as I am feeling well - the best I have been in a very long time.
Having been told I had a nodule in my stomach following the CT scan I was alarmed as nothing had been mentioned previously. It is 13mm and could be scar tissue. It has not got larger since the chemo. There is another the same size in the skin of the bowel and I am told it is not in the bowel. My Ca125 results are good - down to 8.8 and 30 is normal. I am told the Ca125 blood test will also monitor the one outside the bowel.
My blood will be tested a week before my next appointment and a follow up scan - so I am keeping my fingers crossed.
In the meantime my Mac nurse is going to get the doctor to confirm on my medical record that he considers me fit to travel. Some insurance companies request this information. Now all I can do is try and remember which company I was looking up when searching for holiday insurance!
Eyes are still not right from cataract operation. but it is early days.
Went for the results of my CT scan to be told there was a nodule still and I would be monitored. I saw the large melon size one on the right hand side and another about the size of a penny on the left hand side when they were doing my ultra sound scan. I understood both ovaries and tubes were being taken out........................... so where is this nodule. Why didnt they take it out when they had me on the operating table.
I am completely shocked and bewildered. They weren't going to give me the last chemo so I took this as a sure sign that all was well. I have to go for a blood test in January. Now I will be worried all the time about this nodule - why couldnt they have taken it our!
Why wasn't I told about this nodule. I was offered Carboplatin +/- Taxol. I would definitely have had the Taxol if I had known about the nodule. The oncologist recommended just the Carboplatin as there was no sign of spreading or cancer cells in the wash.
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© Macmillan Cancer Support 2014
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