A lot has happened in the last four years. How do I start? It's almost a year since I finished chemo (ABVD) for Hodgkins Lymphoma (2B). I still get the willies when I see a drip on TV. My heart still races when I go for a check-up. I still hardly watch the news, I'm such a softy now. BUT, I'M ALIVE!!! My hair is glorious now. I've decided it's my body's equivalent of a rainbow. God's promise that there will be some good stuff. My husband loves it - rich strong curls replaced fragile wisps. He's glad I've stopped straightening it now that it's long enough to curl properly. He likes to look at it: a deep joyful gurgling laugh rises and I know the sight of it is helping to heal him of the trauma. Relatively speaking. Relatively speaking, it wasn't so bad, I suppose. 6 months (not 8) of ABVD. Wonderful, wonderful staff in the Haematology Outpatient Dep. A clear scan post-treatment. One infection. Not a single overnight stay (OK, I did insist on leaving the hospital once at 5am, but it's not really cheating). Awesome support from my husband and family and friends. Lots of prayers. Brilliant support from my boss and employer. I didn't do too badly. I'm grateful! But I still feel like I went through some kind of emotional mangle. It was bad enough. I'm only 33. My contract of employment is about to be terminated. I'm happy to let go. I'd be on the cusp of some exciting change if only I didn't get tired so easily. All the same.... I've got plans..... xxx