There have been few heart stopping moments in my life.
The last was probably the most body heart stopping moment i have experienced. Everything in my body froze. A large buzzing had set up shop in my head accompanied by dry mouth and fuzzy sensation everywhere. My World, apparently, has been tilted.
What do you say?
How do you even begin to find the words.....
In my case. You suck it all back down, paint on a smile and go from there. Because someone has to smile. Someone has to find that strength, because i sure as hell cannot expect this to come from my Mum and Dad. So it’s me.
So what do you do when suddenly that Big ol' oak tree that is your Dad suddenly has something that makes your bowels clench? In my families case you turn to humour. Dark, distracting, beautifully uplifting humour.
I have been asked many times over the last few months. 'How are you doing?' To be honest????? I have been back and forth.........A lot. And around in circles. With the crying and the wailing. Some snorting. A lot of flailing. And a few complete melt downs. My Dad on the other hand appears to be sailing at the helm of this ship remarkably well. I am distinctly proud of him, and hope that he continues on this path. My Dad having been a life long smoker, has kicked this to the curb. The Day i found out it was confirmed Lung Cancer, i came down with a chest infection. I therefore also gave up smoking. Some things you don't ignore
However, When I gave up smoking, I chose to do this at the same time of my Period arriving, and it was my step-sons weekend to visit. Cue, normal loving, well balanced individual turns into the two headed bitch from hell. To be honest, which was affecting me more at that moment in time was anyone’s guess. Nicotine withdrawal or Hormones...... flip a coin, it won't make any difference.
Has giving up been easy? Yes and No. The last 5 Months have been a journey. But one I think if you are a smoker, you should take. And not because I am now a non-smoker and therefore deem you casted into hell. But because most smokers will always ALMOST want to give up smoking. But its like you never can quite turn that corner. Fear, for me was the stopper. BUT if you are thinking about it. Just do it. Give it a crack of the whip. What have you got to lose? If you fail……Don’t worry, try again. Sounds simple? That’s because it is. Remember i said simple not easy. Don’t confuse the two.
And tell your friends. The ones you know believe in you. They will be a tremendous beacon of light and support.
You will need it. But in reality, i am asking you, please don't wait until the be C has marched into your life unannounced and uninvited. Making its acquaintance without even so much as buying you a drink.
Just Quit it.
