A couple of months ago I began writing this blog post, it’s been put off because of not really knowing how to approach this topic. It’s been difficult to write, but thankfully with the right information I’m in control again.
I had cancer 13 years ago now, at 14 years old I was told I had a very high chance of being infertile and having fertility problems. At 14 that means nothing to someone, at the time my aspiration was to become an astronaut. An impossibility now – but you’ve got to have your dreams. To me, the issue was going to come, if it did again, a million years down the line.
That was until January this year when I was told that there were small amounts of cancer cells reproducing in my uterus. One biopsy later and it was pinned down and captured in time. Seeing the biopsy take place – fully awake, it dawned on me that this is some serious business and I needed to take charge to work out my options.
Now I am cured, and it’s so far down the line the first place I went to was my GP and a gynaecologist at the local hospital – nobody had any answers on fertility issues and I was told I just had to start trying. But it doesn’t just affect me anymore, it’s my partner whose going to be just as affected as I am if we can’t have children, as well as his family. I didn’t want us to go through the heartbreak that can come with serious fertility issues.
Nine months later and I went directly to a consultant at the Macmillan Centre in UCL hospital. Whilst I am not completely infertile, I was told I have a very small window to have children and an early menopause is going to prevent me from being able to have children whenever it fits into my life. By that I mean my career and how much energy I was putting into it. Finances are an issue – but aren’t they for everyone?
When exactly is the right time to have children? Cancer or no cancer, fertility problems or not, is anyone truly ever ready to have children?
This issue of missing information for people who’ve come through so much of the physical cancer experience, are cured and effectively ‘out of the system’ was made very clear to me, and the only place that helped me was the Macmillan Cancer Centre and it’s staff.
From this fertility meeting I was told that I could be referred to a specialist in this area who would help me throughout all areas of pregnant – including the additional support I would need in dealing with the impact on my heart.
It was now a case of a different phase of having been affected by cancer – the fact that cancer cells were starting to reproduce again didn’t make me worry, what did was the greater context that this could get in my way as a mother.
The best way to manage these things that arise in a life after cancer is to be informed.
Now I have a plan of attack, only good can come from this...
