Well its MRi day tomorrow and although i am relieved its here I am a scaredy cat too.  I am imagining all kinds of horrors too ridiculous to mention in fact. All of a sudden I have become an expert and know in advance what they will say!!!! Wont know any of that until Friday and its agonising.  I know that i have many many hurdles to overcome and in the scheme of things this is a relative small hurdle. ( i was rubbish at hurdles at school)

I am trying very hard to be relaxed and give the impression at home that its all ok, i dont want to put my family through any more pain and worry than is necessary.  So tomorrow i will be jules with the positive mask on and accept what is to come because I have no choice.

O dear i do sound gloomy and doomy this really isnt me at all i just need Friday to be here so i know exactly what happens next.  I dont want my unwelcome visitor to win so my mind set has to change.