I have come to a realization (latent and out of denial/hope) that my cancer cannot be cured. Somehow I thought that my care team could make me all better. Why not? They make me feel better every time I have to see them. But now I know that I will never get better. How sad for me and everyone like me. How sad to know there is very little hope of a cure. My only hope is that I live longer than I think I have and not feel too badly about all of life that I miss out on and will miss out on. I hope I am not too fearful at my time of death. I hope my family and friends are not too burdened by me and know that I will hug them every day even after I am gone...somehow. Hope is a miracle.
