I fell into this alternative universe 4 weeks ago when the Dr said, "Yes you have a tumour in your sigmoid colon, you have Bowel cancer"
My first priority was my wife, sitting patiently in the waiting room, how was I going to tell her, the world had suddenly taken on a very surreal feel to it. The look on my face must have spoken volumes but gripping my hand tightly she took a deep breath and together we commenced this nightmare journey.
The following 3 days brought numbness, disbelief, denial and panic. This was a situation that happened to other people, not me. Cancer, the word alone brings a shiver to your spine, followed quickly by a fear that had before been unknown. Was this treatable, had it spread, would I survive, all thoughts that pervaded my mind almost constantly. Normality was a memory, a good nights sleep was a thing of the past and things which yesterday were important no longer seemed to touch my consciousness, coming to terms with being a cancer patient certainly sharpened my perspective on what was really important.
Hospital appointments seemed to come thick and fast, first a surgeon who had little to go on other than the report of the sigmoid colonoscopy. This was inadequate information so he ordered MRI and CT scans all of which were interrupted by the Easter holiday. Time seemed to slow almost to a stop while we waited to find out exactly how far the tumour had spread and how they might be able to treat it.
Fear will generate more fear and allowed to run unchecked will take us to the edge of insanity. Someone advised me to concentrate only on the information that you know, good advice if you can do it but it takes a strong will to stop your mind wandering down all those dark alleys that hold your worst nightmares.
