Got my first appointment since diagnosis tomorrow and I am having an awful panic that it’s all going to be bleak news ...my emotional well being feels shattered and sore. I want answers but will they be more difficult to hear than I can cope with? I really don’t want to die. Feeling desperately sad x
Hi there Stephy1 Gentle hugs are winging their way to you as I write. Everything you're feeling is perfectly understandable. It's a very scary place to be, but you're not alone. We all understand how you feel and we're standing there with you.
Our minds always leap to worst case scenario but that's not how things always end up. I think it's the lovely daloni who said that when we fear the worst it can sometimes be helpful to imagine your response in your mind, to almost play out the scene, as it were, because it takes some of the fear away. Imagining our reactions, rehearsing what we might say can sometimes prepare us for dealing with the worst.
I do understand how scary this is for you. I'd just say it's also very possible that you'll hear more positives than you expect. Either way, listening is really important - listening to what's said without trying to read between the lines. When we panic we don't always hear properly. So do take someone with you as a second pair of ears - my husband sometimes misheard things but he was great at thinking of questions "on the hoof" as it were, whilst I was still processing what was being said.
It's natural that your emotions feel bruised and sore right now. There are no right or wrong reactions, so don't be afraid to tell the doctor and or the clinical nurse specialist how you're feeling, whatever the outcome of the appointment. I can only say from my own experience that these feelings get better but it takes time to regain some peace and equilibrium I hope that when you go tomorrow you'll meet lovely doctors and nurses who will take good care of you and who you will feel safe with and be confident in. Sending you lots of good wishes and I hope you won't be offended when I say that I'll be remembering you in my prayers x
Hello again Stephy,
At this point, you've really not got much to worry about. Your initial diagnosis was atypical hyperplasia that was then upgraded to cancer after someone else had a look. This means your cells are probably on the cusp between hyperplasia and cancer, which means it's been caught early. As I said in one of your previous threads, this means you might not even need the hysterectomy if you didn't want it, and could be treated with hormone therapy, as I am being, instead.
Whatever the answers are to the questions you have, they are worse in your head than they are in reality. Lots of people do it when they hear the word cancer, and they start to panic while all reason and logic flies out of the window. Try downloading a mindfulness or meditation app onto your mobile and see if any of the exercises help calm your mind again. Lots of people find them really helpful in times like this as it helps them stay grounded.
The best way to get through a diagnosis is keeping calm, staying rational, and looking at things logically. The one thing to remember is that no amount of panic or worry is going to change the outcome, so it's a waste of time and energy to let it go on for too long.
So this evening, grab your partner or some friends, go out for a meal and some drinks, and/or go to the cinema or the theatre and do something nice, surrounded by lovely people, and distract yourself from tomorrow.
Whatever happens or you're told tomorrow, you've got this and you'll get through with your head held high and us shoving you along whenever you need it. You'll be grand.
Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today. - Thich Nhat Hanh
Thank you so much x everyone has been so helpful ️
Hi stephy1, just wanted you to know that my thoughts and prayers are with you today and I hope your appointment goes well. Big hugs coming your way. Please don't worry too much..I'm sure everything will be ok.
Thank you x Will update the group later on.
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