I cannot thank you enough for taking the time and trouble to go over everything that happened to you afterwards. This is perhaps - of everything that anyone has said - the most heartening thing to me so far, basically getting back towards normal after only a few days. "Normal" is being back in control again.
My partner echoes your sentiments of an interruption, he calls it a blip. As a veteran of many, many ops and a diabetic too, he is doing very well at being empathetic, and hasn't once told me to pull myself out of it. In fact, he has said he can't think of anyone worse this cold happen too, due to my total traumatic distress over the whole thing.
I understand what you say about Marsden being my rescuer, and I will try to hang on to this thought. Its not glib. Unfortunately, I mainly see them as interfering with a healthy person, traumatising me and making me feel rough for weeks afterwards. My logic, practical nature and all my usual characteristics of my personality having changed. As I sit here typing, my partner is backwards and forwards to the kitchen, trying to make me interested in eating and drinking. (He's probably practicing for next month.) Eating and sleeping are limited, and seem pointless. I'm getting some fab food but it just sits on the plate.
Yes, I know I'm totally negative, but it's only honesty about the way I feel, the frustration, the trauma and the fear, and its all with me, all of the time.
You truly have helped (a bit) with your message and, believe me, a "bit" is a lot in my world right now.
A huge hug and thank you. I need to go and find another tissue again, now...
read thriugh the correspondence. I totally empathise with you as new to this site also, and awaiting a date for biopsy. In early stages of being terrified. Although I know it's the only way forward now. It's totally the unknown and out of control that is playing all sorts of mind games. Since being referred for biopsy .I'm feeling every twinge is an issue. Where normally I wouldn't notice them. The lack of sleep and unable to eat now for 5 days us causing massive anxiety. Just hoping I hear news soon about a hospital appointment to get me through thus. One way or another.
I feel all your pain as it's the same pain I am feeling and prob pain most on this lovely site have encountered. Until your in this position it's hard to understand where people can get their courage from.
Onwards and upwards. The Nhs although overstretched will certainly do their best for everyone. It's hard to have faith but it's what we need. By what I'm hearing on here the % on here is very high for getting through this. With only surgery.
I am so glad I've heard others on here as I don't feel so alone.
At home I only have myself and two boys one if which is young and needs his name to be strong which I'm finding very difficult at present
Lots of love
It's good you've found this site so early only, it's an amazing place for strength. Unfortunately, I'm absorbing all the strength I can, and not (yet) able to give anything back.
Whilst not belittling your fears, if you are at the biopsy stage, you may yet come through with a normal result.
My stomach is in knots the whole time, I only get any relief when I swim, or sleep its muscle pain at the fear. Again, not belittling you but I guess that's what yours is, too.
This site is so supportive, there are some amazing ladies here, will to share their experiences for the benefit of others, and I am extremely grateful for all shreds of support.
My experience of diagnosis has been poor, only in the sense of being expected to drop everything at a moment's notice, backwards and forwards to the hospital and then, when they having everything they need, they leave you not knowing what happens next until they are ready to summon you again. Hopefully, you won't have to go through this.
Most staff you encounter will be very empathetic, which helps a bit, or a lot, depending on your character and general outlook on this.
I wish you well, in every sense. Keep posting and reading, others will support you very well, even if I'm not able to do so.
You are supporting yourself also by writing it down and sharing your fears .that's a good thing. Yes I still have that extra hope. It doesnt really help at present when you're at your worst waiting to find out one way or another. . My stomach is constantly in summersault s although I try to brave it Infront of my children. Alone is not a good place. Hence why I feel better coming on here for short periods.
I'm hoping you will find your strength through your future hospital visits. Tbh the drs messed my paperwork up and I was told I couldn't get biopsy until end of May. When I queried thus the drs said no your urgent referral so at minute I haven't even got an appointment as such other than the one in May.
Keep writing as it's amazing what that means to yourself and others reading. It's sharing emotions and experiences.
Lots of love xx
Safe payments by:
We're here to provide physical, financial and emotional support. So whatever cancer throws your way, we're right there with you.
© Macmillan Cancer Support
© Macmillan Cancer Support, registered charity in England and Wales (261017), Scotland (SC039907) and the Isle of Man
(604). Also operating in Northern Ireland. A company limited by guarantee, registered in England and Wales company
number 2400969. Isle of Man company number 4694F. Registered office: 89 Albert Embankment, London SE1 7UQ. VAT no: