You know Macmi1, I was a trembling wreak inside but outside I just put on a poker face, trying to stay calm about it, but I was terrified my CNS ( clinical nurse speacialist) was great and very reassuring, my consultant is fantastic and has a good sense of humor but very professional too and he explained everything with me about the operation and that womb cancer is very treatable especially if its contained to the womb. Our wombs are strong, as he put it. Was I right in hearing your going to the royal Marsden hospital? I can't remember who but I do remember hearing great things about the hospital?
Cancer touches more life's then I really realised but treatment and research is improving all the times and with womb cancer often surgery at low stages is all that's needed. They don't seem to get to know the full stage till after the operation the tissue is examined and tests done. Its then whether anymore treatment is required but you take each step at a time. Ironically my holiday was all I was bothered about I kept thinking can I go and my consultant was very happy to say yes. Your cruise sounds really exciting, I have done Nile cruises and they were wonderful seeing so many beautiful sites.
After my surgery and careful checks I was told the cancer has gone, and still I am cancer free. I go for my next check in May as I have been on four monthly checks since surgery.
Remember no question is too big or small and its often helpful when going to appointments to write questions down before you go.
What is a Community Champion? Womb cancer forum
Call the helpline for free on 08088080000, 8am to 8pm everyday.
“Hope is our best friend”
Yes, Royal Marsden, we were there seemingly all day yesterday. If I could see past the total trauma and devastation of the situation I would probably be able to acknowledge their care, concern and excellence so far, but I am too wrapped up in my own troubles. Everyone we encountered, even for a few moments, seemed to have a special caring quality about them, from the cafe upwards.
I had to take minutes at a committee meeting last night, which I could have done without. I have sworn my other half to absolute secrecy on my ill health, as I don't want anyone knowing, it was difficult to cope with the general "how are you's" that were going around, when no-one knows. The trade off for this is that I don't get the prayers of the church community, as they don't know anything! As a very private person, the sooner this is sorted, the sooner I can try to put it behind me, and carry on as if nothing's happened.
So pleased to hear you are cancer free presently, it seems you've already had an horrendous time. But you're still so strong and positive, as well as helping others?!
The daylight is just coming up, so I must go back to bed for a couple of hours.
The daffodils are lovely round here, lots of island and grass verges have had daffodils planted always a nice show them and the tulips. My sleep patterns are weird some nights I can barely sleep over times like a log, I am on a far few pain meds etc for other health problems which can simply knock me out flat. But I suffer with fatigue a lot at the moment but I rest up and I swim on a Wednesday night. I go then because I am actually a scuba diver, but not allowed to dive at the moment but I still go the pool session but just swim, well snorkel. I go to a support group this morning and I go to a cancer support group on Tuesdays and sometimes Friday. Its great to talk about things with people who do really understand.
I very rarely drink alcohol, it doesn't always taste nice now, maybe the drugs I am on really don't know but I have been told to avoid alcohol anyway and I have been like that for a long time now. I occasionally have a glass of wine with Sunday dinner but Christmas just I didn't touch a drop and it really didn't bother me. One of my favorite drinks when I am out is lager and lime, I laugh because it looks like I am drinking alcohol but alcohol free lager is really nice and I found it to be light on your stomach. But you can drink it in a party setting and look like your joining in, heinikan blue and becks blue are both good tasting lagers.
It seems I am happiest either in the water swimming, or on the water cruising. Another blow is not being able to swim for a few weeks afterwards. Having swum at least three times a week for the past 20 or so years, this doesn't help getting back to normal.
As for the brandy, I always hit it to calm my nerves in any stressful situation, and the litre bottle seems to have half emptied itself in the past three weeks. Just as well we're cruising back to Guernsey again in May to get more from the little supermarket that sold it so cheaply! Hopefully by then the physical scars will come with me but the cancer will stay behind...
Like you - and probably everyone else - I just sleep when exhausted. Not tired now but heading back to bed anyway.
Sweet dreams Macmi1,
just a thought for you. We have a group for religion and spirituality and prayer, I can't send the link as on my phone,that will teach me not to have the iPad charged up. But if you go and click on groups, then cancer experiences and just scroll though the list till you come to religion and spirituality and prayer group and click on it and click to join group. There is actually a few of us from this group there too.
Sending supportive prayers to you
Back awake again after an hour's sleep!
Thank you for letting me know about the prayer group. You are a true Community Champion amidst all your other worries and getting on with your normal life.
I managed an hour and half which was OK some deep sleep too.
I hope you find the religion, spirituality and prayer group as another comfort and support for you.
Here’s a link to the prayer group that GBear mentioned
Thank you Fairycake
How are you?
Thinking about you,and hoping your appointment brought some relief or comfort for you.
Love to each and everyone of you out there... Xx
So sorry, I know I have just sent you a brief message regarding your appointment, and it may appear a bit 'distant'... If that's the word...
I have had no internet for 3 days,and just logged in... I hadn't seen your latest posts as I am inundated with emails and ploughing through them, so sorry , I am sure I may still have some more from you to catch up on.
Sending you ALOT of Love and hugs... Thinking of you Macmi1....
Hi Macmi1,. How are you doing? I hope you are feeling a little less stressed. I remember when I was first diagnosed I went into a kind of shock and couldn't eat, sleep or think about anything else. In fact I think I reacted pretty much like you. It was as though my world had ended. But over a period of times, and thanks to the empathy and commonsense and support of this group, I got my head around things. I was still scared and upset but began to feel able to start doing practical things like preparing for going to hospital by getting stuff together and thinking about freezer meals and sorting things out for my temporary replacement at work. It helped me to remind myself of how lucky I was to live in a country where good treatment was available and free as well. And being generally fit and well, and so on. Another thing which helped was remembering a friend who had breast cancer when she was very young and had twins who were less than a year old. She had to have surgery followed by chemotherapy and then radiotherapy and she was incredibly brave. She had been in the armed forces previously and I think the discipline she had learned there got her through. She recovered well and its all a distant memory for her now. I don't know if any of this helps. What I'm trying to say is your reaction is natural, but once the initial shock wears off, you will feel better.. you will also feel better when young age a definite treatment plan and a date for your surgery if that is needed. In a few months time you'll be here giving reassurance to other ladies who have just been diagnosed, remembering hownyounfelt and how it all turned out alright. Steph xx
Thank you so much for your lovely kind words, and you've hit the nail on the head, with everything you say. I just can't see coming out the other side presently.
For me, there are several issues. Firstly, the shock of the C word when I wasn't expecting it having always been healthy and fit, secondly the sheer horror of anything medical never having had so much as a blood test or an injection in the whole of my adult life until the past two weeks, and thirdly, the horror of before the operation and after the operation. I can't even get as far as whether that will be the end of it. I cannot even begin to imagine the 48 hours after surgery and the frustration of having to be inactive. This doesn't fit with my three miles swim every week.
I just want to go to sleep and wake up in the summer. I am a planner, and I have no control of any of this. I haven't had any choices of anything so far,I just get told what I have to do - and usually at very short notice. It's a nightmare I can't get out of.
Now I have a surgery date, my stress level is ramping up, if that's possible. I'm not sure what's worse, the uncertainty of no date, or the certainty of a date and counting down to it, knowing I can't bale out, or change anything.
I've stayed away from this site for a few days, as having the C word doesn't seem to apply to me, and I'm trying not to think about it, which is impossible. I just keep bursting into tears. It's not made any easier by the interminably long journeys back and forth to the Marsden, so each time I go it seems to consume an entire day.
Sorry to be so negative but it's just the way I feel, and summer seems a long way off.
In any event, your words are important and valued, but I wish someone could rescue me from the physical nightmare.
Thank you Monto15,
I've stayed away deliberately, as the C word is just all consuming for me, and I can't seem to get away from the C word. Just come back from a nice overnight stay in a country hotel, courtesy of my other half, just to take my mind of it, which it did a bit, but basically it just masked my deep distress.
See my words just now to histeria53.
Waiting, waiting, waiting...
Awwwww Macmil, this is really hard for you isn't it. Your distress comes through in your words. I get that you feel like in your head you are trapped in a nightmare situation. If nothing else I'm glad you are able to express s your feelings on here and hopefully to your other half who sounds to be doing a grand job of trying to distract you with a lovely break. You say you wish someone would rescue you. It's the Marsden who are your rescuers. Sorry if this sounds glib. I remember when inwas waiting for mymop and terrified like you are, seeing the words ''''everything you want is on the other side of fear" . That really resonated with me at the time and I kept it in mind as I prepared. Like you I imagined being out of action for months afterwards. In fact I had keyhole surgery on a Wednesday morning. Woke up around lunchtime feeling lovely and woozy and quite comfortable. A quiet afternoon on the ward being brought cups of coffee and biscuits. I drank lots of water and ate and drank everything which was offered. Read a magazine. Late afternoon I got out of bed and walked to the loo. Having some done i knew I had fulfilled my half of my bargain with my surgeon who said if I could get out of bed and wee he would let me go home the same day. So I was home in time to watch a bit of telly and make some phone calls. Up and showered and dressed the following morning and spent the day reading a bit, pottering about a bit, supervising in the kitchen a bit and so on. I truly was not in any pain. Just a slight feeling of tenderness and wobbliness inside. Over the next few days I moved about gently, gradually increasing my activities and by a few days later I was pulling a few weeds up in the garden and tending the plants a bit, making meals, dusting, anything which didn't involve heavy lifting. Friends came to visit and were were amazed to see me fully dressed and looking just the same as normal. I had also baked biscuits for them. I was naughty and did a bit more than i should to be honest, three weeks later we had a break in the Lake district and went for long walks. I carried my camera gear in my rucksack as usual though not as heavy as normal. I was getting down in the grass to photograph plants and insects. No one would have guessed I was just three weeks out of major surgery. It wasn't long before I was back to normal, back to work, walking and swimming and so on. I was a bit unlucky and had to have radiotherapy to follow up. But that wasn't anything like as bad as expected either and although it left me fatigued for a while I'm back to normal again and it all seems a long time ago. I don't look back at all this in horror but as a brief interruption when I was cared for by amazingly wonderful people and got to spend a summer having a little break from work relaxing and recovering. Younslund a lot like me. Never been one for the doctor, always active, hospital phobic. And I know you'll be alright. When you feel able to think about it we have lots of tips and advice about preparing for your op. But I think now you just need some reassurance and comfort. Xxx steph
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