Vulva cancer

Affected by VIN (a pre-cancerous condition) or vulva cancer? Join this group to share experiences and ask questions to people who understand what you're going through.

Untreatable vulva cancer

SLH2
Posted by

My mum is in her late 80's and we have been told her cancer is too large to operate and , they did not even do a biopsy as was no need to put her through it. .It all sound so horribly final. They cannot remove and cannot treat. I do not know what happens now. She has been given numbing cream to help with discomfort. and has got to go and have a CT  scan to determine if has gone as far back to the bowel. 

I am realing from the fact there is nothing they can do.

Camh
Posted by

Hello there - I’m not sure I can give you any much advice really but I’m in a similar situation to you, except my mum decided not to have any treatment at all. She has other health issues and couldn’t face the harsh operation she would need or the prospect of chemo/radiotherapy, and to be honest I have come to fully respect her decision.

I think day to day it’s mostly just making life as normal as possible for our mums, some days will be better than others so on the good days make the most of them, doing things your mum might enjoy, even just very simple things if that’s all she can manage. If your mum’s like mine she won’t have access to the internet and all the advice & help out there so you can do that for her, finding out tips and suggestions that might make her as comfy as possible. 

At first the diagnosis will be a huge shock for everyone involved, and yes, the road ahead will be challenging at times, everyone’s journey will be different, even with the same illness, & your job will be to help guide your mum through this.

And take time to look after yourself too, I know our mums are well into their 80’s but it’s still hard to watch them go through this, so take things easy in other parts of your life where you can x

SLH2
Posted by

Hi, 

Thankyou so much for your words of advice , they were greatly recieved. my mum is at the advance stages, and palliative care is th only option for her , she kept it to herself too long. The consultant was lovely , but did offer 10 blasts of palliative rediotherepy, but like your mum it is a lot to take on , and think she cannot face it. In herself she is as clued up as ever , but like you said such a huge shock for all.  My mum is 88 but  can use the internet  and has access to it, so know she has been reading up on it all. 

I will take you advise on board and wish you and your mum the best x