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I'm new here I was wondering my dad has been diagnosed with a T3 n2 locally advanced cancer. His consultant said he would not survive chemo and operation as he has previously suffered from an anurisum.he was offered palliative chemo.doctors won't give us any idea of the time we may have left with him without surgery.just wondering if anyone can help I'm all over the place and don't really know what to expect or what to do or anything. Thanks in advance x
Is there any way you can seek another opinion, if only for peace of mind?
Hi Gudge and welcome
Sorry you find yourself in this overwhelming situation.
Are there other family members who can be with you at this distressing time?
I am not sure how long your father has been experiencing ill health or if you have been attending appointments and meetings with his health team. Even if you were expecting a cancer diagnosis it can still come as shock to have it confirmed.
Does your dad have a named person in his team whom you can contact to talk things through?
You have made a good start in seeking advice and support by coming here. There are different areas of the site where you can chat with people in similar circumstances. There are sections for family and carers and for looking after people with terminal cancer.
It will be hard at first to hear this news and perhaps the initial meeting with his doctor wasn't the right time for you to raise questions and ask for explanations. Medical teams understand that it is difficult and don't expect the patient and their loved ones to take everything in on hearing the news.
Now you have had some time...perhaps you could jot down in a note book the things you would like to ask and things you need more information about. Its a good idea for someone present when dad's doctors are meeting with him to have the book to prompt their questions and note down what is said.
Do you feel that a different decision about the way forward could be considered or are you seeking information and support for coping from this point on?
If you have any questions about Macmillan, or would like to talk to someone about cancer, we have a team of experts who can help.
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