Prostate cancer

A support group for anyone affected by prostate cancer to come together, share experiences, and ask questions.

Anger issues

challenger22051
Posted by

Im very well, but my mind is not, i am 60, its the ED, incontinance etc and in particular the anger i find i hate everything

Ido4
Posted by

Do you have friends who will pick you up and take you out? Even just for a walk, a coffee etc.

I really hope you get some help with this.

Ido4

challenger22051
Posted by

Yes i have one special friend who has been by my side with every appointment, biopsy and everything, family nothing, its like oh well you had an operation all is fine but its not

challenger22051
Posted by

I do not like going out im scared

challenger22051
Posted by

Im very well, but my mind is not, i am 60, its the ED, incontinance etc and in particular the anger i find i hate everything

Ido4
Posted by

Sorry challenger22051, I just wondered if having someone with you would help.

Can your GP refer you for some professional help?

Ido4

Grundo
Posted by

Can u not start to go out with your good friend for trips to the local coffee shop etc, I know that it will be difficult but it will be worth the effort. Possibly though, counselling first.

S

challenger22051
Posted by

my friend comes to sainsbury's with me, but i get angry with children playing in the aisle, women chatting as though its parents cub, im annoyed with just everything, queues, just everyone

Grundo
Posted by

Sorry to ask so many questions but did the anxiety start when first diagnosed or was it an issue before then?

challenger22051
Posted by

Its ok, I was so anxious before hospital, i shook and was terrified during diagnosis etc i am still anxious but increasingly angry

Grundo
Posted by

Generally there is more anger around these days, I feel that I am more angry than 5-10 years ago. Even the milkman and postman don't seem as friendly.

For yourself it would seem that the anxiety is the big problem because it is stopping u from going out.

Try and look into starting counselling asap, make a few phone calls today.

Steve

Seldomseen
Posted by

I sent this to a lady who was on the general site here....she had bowel cancer I think but her message was ref anger. I thought there would be more mention of anger.

Like I say in my message......it helped me just writing down how I felt. She replied saying it helped that someone else recognised how she felt. My original message below.

—————————————————

Hi Deli,

 I have just had surgery for prostate cancer......has been a bit of a whirlwind......test, diagnosis, surgery.

Prior to surgery I was so angry I could not keep lid on it. Re dealing with cancer I was told low risk but within no time I am lined up for surgery....... I feel like I have no control, no say. Hospital staff (McMillan Nurse specifically) arranged for me to talk to the hospital chaplain (as no psychiatric care available). I got meeting date wrong but he still gave me his time when I turned up unexpectedly.

After talking for a while he said “you are not angry, you are raging”. He was right. I was way beyond angry. I am super fit for my age. No smoking, no drinking, I eat well. I work. I have a good family. I am due some good things and good times. The McMillan nurse is talking to me? Why me? She must be mistaken.....no need to talk to me....I’m fine....wish I ‘d never gone to doctor.

He (the Chaplain) told me I was right to be angry, to be raging...it was okay to feel like that....it was to a degree normal. And with that permission, from a respectable man, my rage reduced.......and along with less anger, my energy disappeared as while angry, my system was so pumped with adrenaline I could fight anything and I wanted to.

My anger helped deal with the crap coming my way. In hindsight I needed to be angry. You need your anger.

re the guidance you need and the card.... I am going to say 2 things......

speak to your McMillan nurse and ask them to clarify what is now going to happen.......part of it is a process and you are being processed.......it may be out of your control but it is well intentioned.

re card......it may have been sent to you well intentioned but it may also have been for the benefit of the sender..........and my ramblings here may help you (I hope) but writing this has helped me for sure. So thank you for allowing me to blather on, to have my rant. You are are allowed to rant and it does not have to make sense but I am sure there are many of us out here who know exactly what you mean and why need the space and freedom to say it.

Thank you and good luck 

PBADS
Posted by

Hi! Sorry to hear that you are going through this. But know that you are not alone as I know this feeling all too well. Some Drs will say it's early days. Six months later, early days....!! 

We have to keep our minds strong when we are at our weakest. 

Wishing you the best for today and tmwr. Yes! Go out if you get the chance. 

Seldomseen
Posted by

Post op I am not angry but I get very frustrated at moment re pads etc. 

I have seen physiotherapist privately and she has told me to slow down...be patient.

Good advice I am sure......but I get impatient with myself......results in frustration which will lead to anger if I am not careful.

Anger is part of me and I usually deal with this by running/gym etc. But not an option right now. Actually still sleeping too much.

Other issues...too soon to make a call.

However, thanks for listening and responding and can I encourage everyone to have their say re this anger issue....

For me the enemy is the cancer not the people around me. I recognise that I often need to be on my own and I do not want sympathy but it helps that there are people who have some understanding of how I feel.

Thanks and I hope this might be of some help re discussion 

Uroboros
Posted by

You need to see your GP in the first instance, an antidepressant seems appropriate then you need psychotherapy.  You do need professional help with this and it won't get any better if you don't seek it.

Otherwise, rather tah a prostate cancer site, you may find the Healthunlocked site helpful.