Seeking Solace

Hi all looking for some solace after another sleepless night.
My 75 yr old dad was diagnosed in February, Gleason 9, PSA 6.7, T3AN0Mx. He was started immediately on hormone therapy (tablets and had 2 injections so far) but yesterday they have confirmed that a suspicious spot on his scapula from a bone scan taken in April, is indeed a lytic metastases (dont even get me started on why it's taken so long to communicate and via a letter too).

He is now awaiting 2nd bone scan to see if there has been any change and then I suppose they will decide on what treatment- I assume we'll be looking at radiotherapy or chemotherapy. He already suffers from anxiety and depression and I'm worried he'll just give up. I'm starting to see him look pale and I'm worried sick. Can anyone in similar circumstances offer some positivity Pray

  • Hi Chezza, everyone is different, so treatment differs, having a cancer diagnosis is not always a death sentence Im 74 Gleason 9, T4, Nx, M1b, aggressive cancer and incurable, not terminal.

    I'm on Decapeptyl injection every 24 weeks enzalutamide tablets 4 per day, 1 finastride and 1 tamsulosin per day, yes there are side effects which you have to live with, for many years, how unfortunate is that :) , My 50 wedding anerversary is 2029, I'm looking forward to it.

    All the best Ulls

  • Hi Cheza

    Ulls is totally right, uncurable in most cases are treatable and doesn’t necessarily mean terminal. 

    Best regards 

    Don't let your good days be spoilt by the worry of a bad day, that may or may not come along.

  • Hi Chezza

    Being positive depends on the individual and those around him, as ups and Mally have said, it’s by far not the end of the world, I’ve got the thing in my ribs, pelvis, spine, maybe other places, but still keeping a good view on life, even though I’m a heck of a lot slower and more fatigued.

    He should talk to the McMillan nurses, they can come and see him, their excellent people and know what to say, barring that if there’s a Maggies centre near by pop in there again their good people even if you go for a tea and biscuit.

    Stay safe


  • Thank you Joe. I'll give us all a kick up the proverbial once the initial shock has subsided. I've been reading about the difference between incurable and terminal and he's not there yet so lots to be positive about. The wait between tests and results is agonising for all of us.

    He won't 'bother' macmillan as he puts it and we don't have a Maggies centre close by unfortunately.

    Take care, Chezza

  • Hi Chezza, Macmillan look forward to talking to us, they have helped me quite a lot, they no what we are going through, and want to help, if you're dad won't talk to them you could, it will help you understand, and may reduce your dads worries.

    All the best Ulls

  • Thanks Ulls. I've called them once and they did help me. Just can't coax dad to ring. I'll give him another nudge. Thank you, take care.

  • Hi, I pleased Macmillan were able to help you, I have been depressed and had counciling, so I can understand your dad, I hope he will come through it and accept help.

    All the best Ulls