My partner, who is my soul mate, was diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer just under 3 1/2 years ago. We started on the chemo, hormone injections and the last year a long period of radiotherapy. We had very good months & some really dark weeks. Covid came and with a mixture of no work, no family or friends round and me working as a nurse in a busy hospital his personality just changed.
He became angry, argumentative, moody (sometimes not talking to me for days). I couldnt say the smallest thing as it just erupted into a full scale argument. I blamed the medication changing his hormones and thought I’d just have to put up with it, but it was so stressful and I was constantly treading on egg shells. He eventually went back to work in December and things got better.
Then his psa went up so they have changed his medication, which thankfully has brought it down again, but I know longer recognise him. Everything is my fault, he argues all the time. He tells me he loves me one day and then the next its like he hates me. I am so down and teary but he just wont listen to me. I know he is dealing with a massive life changer, but I am too. I just want to hug him and hold him, but he wont let me. Im so sad how this horrible disease has affected us.
Has anyone else experienced these personality changes. I just would like to know that im not alone.
It may not be 'personality changes', it may be depression, which is treatable. Hormone therapy can certainly produce mood swings and other changes, but it may not be a hormonal thing, it may be a reaction to his situation, or simply an endogenous depression that can happen to anyone (but is not uncommon in older people).
The priority has to be getting to the bottom of what's going on, and getting something done if something can be done.But whatever it is, you are not alone.
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A healthy-looking decrepit, 69-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful. I no longer have an urge to choke people who say "all you need to beat cancer is the right attitude" - better to smile and move on.
Hes gone through what many men have on here, Why Me, and with being alone for long periods he has built up a pass the guilt syndrome as I call it. He’s still youngish sees the world doing what it does and it’s passing him by, he dropped into a rut with you the only one who he can vent out his frustration on.
Meds do not help, they change everyone, where have his friends gone ? Just because we are on lock down there’s still the phone, or use the computer chat that way. More over a visit from McMillan nurses just to talk to him might do the trick.
Many ladies like yourself are going through this, cancer just makes things worse, when I retired I felt at a loose end, then came PC a year later, it devastated my wife, thirteen years my junior, who worries and stresses about me walking fifty yards to the shop. Still does after diagnosed nearly five years ago.
I’am the easiest going person you could meet, I’ve advised, helped and done whatever I can on this site for nearly the same amount of time, I always say I’am not a doctor, these are all experiences and what I have found out.
The lockdown is nearly ( and I say nearly cautiously) but if you both have friends, or family, get them down ( not more than six ) for a chat sandwiches a few drinks, whatever to get him talking to others, if you do this make sure he’s part of the conversation a few funny moments forget PC just general chat.
Hope that helps.
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