Aggressive Prostate Cancer Treatments in motion

Hi,  My husband has aggressive prostate cancer.  He was Diagnosed after two PSA test that were higher than they should have been for a 59 year old.  He was sent to a urologist and everything snowballed from there.  He had and MRI with a gleason result of 5 on each test.  Then he had 12 biopsies and all twelve tested 9 and 10 showing aggressive prostate cancer. 

 He then had the prostate removed to only receive more devastating news that it had spread to the bladder, rectum, seminal vessels  and to the pelvic lymph nodes. He lost all feelings down there and has to wear a pad for accidental pee.  Overall he does control the bladder pretty good and makes sure he goes to the bathroom frequently. He is currently being treated with Lupron injections and radiation to help slow things down. The treatments make him get cold spells, hot spells and lots of hip and pelvic pain. He tires very quickly and has lost most of his muscles on both arms and legs.  He was a strong muscle type of man.

This is so devastating on all levels.   We had to come to terms with it and then there was the task of telling our sons and daughters.  The grandchildren ages 9 were not told because it would be hard on them.   The problem with that is that grandpa is usually very tired or in pain from treatment and they are so used to wrestling with him and can't understand why he is so tired.  It breaks my heart.  This man is my love, my friend and my soul mate of 42 years.  I can't help but to feel like my world is crumbling down and I can't keep it from happening.

  • So.sorry to hear about your husband I'm going threw the same with my dad my dad has terminal prostate cancer and unfortunately isn't going to make it... I haven't the words to make u feel better.. but u don't have to go threw it alone... my private messages r always on I'm always around.. big hugs to u nd ur family keep strong xxxx

  • Hi grasping4help like your husband I have advanced prostate cancer which has spread to my bones and lymph nodes etc, I'm being treated with hormone tablets and injections and experienceing similar side effects, my wife has read your post, she feels the same as you. We also have been together 42 years, unfortunately no family,but plenty of friends, we found that it helps to keep talking, talking and talking, everyone has been supportive, this is a very good site for advice or just to talk, your husband could get pain relief just ask your Macmillan nurse.

    All the best to you and your husband.


  • kellymarie83  Thank you so much. I am so sorry about your dad.  We are almost a year into this and every day is a scary one.  I look at him and can't help but to feel so sad.  He is very hopeful and very high spirited and I try to be as well for his sake.  Inside I am dying of anguish.  We just went through a scare this week.  He was going up two steps carrying a small cooler with ice and water and his knee gave way in pain.  It's been a week and still in crutches.  The urgent care doctor did an xray and said it could be osteo arthritis but they spotted a suspicious longitudinal sclerosis on the femur and tibial and needed us to see the medical oncologist.  That threw us into a panic for 24 hours.  The oncologist saw him the very next day and said it would not be cancer but they are doing and MRI to see what it is.  That put some relief on the whole issue for us.  It's the waiting in between that drains us.  Anyway, I digressed, you have a blessed day and thank you so much for your support.

  • Thank you very much for your wise words of encouragement.  I am very sorry that you are going through this.  We've only just started this journey a year ago.  I can't help but to always think how I can't do it, I can't live without him.  He is such a great man.  He is much stronger than I would ever be.  Geeeeshh.  Well my blessings to you kind sir and my regards to your wonderful wife. 

  • Hi grasping4help you are both slightly ahead of my wife and I, my diagnosis was given in January 2021 the urologists said I had 6 to 24 month's, which differs from my oncologist and the guys on this site, after the first couple of months I accepted my future, my wife still can't come to terms with it fully, her words to me are the same as you have said about your husband. At the moment my wife can talk to her best friend, who was diagnosed the same month as I was with lung and brain cancer. I however am one of life's clowns and an insatiable giggler, black moods don't last for long.

    Best wishes to both of you

    • Ulls
  • Hi

    Sorry about how things are going for you both, your in the same boat as my wife, who would fall apart if the worst came to the worst, which she knows will happen one day, we have a saying me and you just us two.

    reading through what you wrote, first I’am astonished that he had the prostate removed, as when it spreads outside, then removing it could cause more harm than good. Treating it with chemotherapy, and radiotherapy plus hormone therapy is usually the way to go for people like us who are incurable.

    How long since he was diagnosed ? My scores were extremely high across the board but I’am past five years with it, tiredness is expected that’s the hormone treatment and hot flushes always happen.

    Your problem is seeing what’s happening on a daily basis, your frightened what will happen next, have you spoke with McMillan nurses ? Their excellent at talking through things or go to a maggies centre again they understand all the problems and can help in many ways.

    Stay safe


  • Hi Joeven,

    Thank you for reaching out.  You are very inspirational to me.  The fact that you are 5 years out on this gives me hope.  My husband was dx In August of 2020.  The testings and suspicions began a couple months before that but he officially was told in August.   His scores were at the highest as well.  He had a few 9 on his biopsies but most were 10.  His Gleason scores were 5.   His surgery was Dec. 23 of 2020.  Apparently the cancer was pretty spread through out his pelvic area.  He has it in his bladder, rectum, semenal vesicles  and lymph nodes. The medical team's goal is to try to make it go into remission and extend his life.  

    He is on Lupron and he just finished his radiation treatments.  He will be getting a blood test soon I believe to see where his PSA level is.  We just take it one day at a time.  But as you mention with us is the same " me and you just us two".  We say " me for you and you for me is the way we will always be."   

    Well, my friend,  Wishing you the best and I will keep you in prayers.  Thank you for your reply to my post

  • Hi

    Your very welcome, a positive attitude is a must in keeping a mind set, the way new drugs come out, I always keep looking through different clinics like the Mayo in America see what’s happening.

    I like your personal saying, it says a lot about the couple.

    stay safe