How do I support and calm my dad?

How do I keep my elderly dad buoyant whilst waiting further tests to see if the cancer has spread elsewhere?

Hormone injections have been working well but he has now been referred to haematology to find out why his platelets are so low. Unfortunately the GP mentioned that cancer could be the cause, and understandably it has really worried my dad and we now have to wait to probably get told bad news. 

He lives alone and I will do as much as I can but I also have another dad with very advanced dementia who is in quick decline in a nursing home.

It's all starting to shake the ground beneath me. A little guidance on how to support him would be handy.

Thanks in advance 

  • Hi Rewta

    The waiting is so difficult for both the patient and their carers.

    I don't feel there's a lot I can offer in terms of ideas about how to help your dad as you know him far better than any of us. My husband and I try to follow the old cliche of taking one day at a time and staying focussed on the good things in life, determined to keep doing and enjoying whatever he can still do today.

    I know lots of people find local 'Maggie's Centres' run by Macmillan really helpful as they organise support groups and various activities etc but we don't have one in our area (yet). For yourself - I hope this group can give you some support and encouragement. There's also a group specifically for carers that you may find helpful.

    I hope you get his results soon as I think it's always easier when you know what you're dealing with. Take care and know there are lots of people here who are always willing to listen.


    (Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4 v8)
  • Hey Rewta,

    My whole family have either had or have Cancer and as their only child it can be difficult. Trust me!

    But if you just need someone else to talk to, feel free to reach out and I’m more than happy to chat. 


  • Hi

    Nit a great position to be in, here’s what I do, I have a portable DVD player a whole stash of my favourite films ans tv series, box sets, barring that I have an iPad and took to writing books which I have got more proficient at over time.

    Theres more and more places opening he can visit, even if it’s just for a walk, just a few ideas for you.

    In your case, try not to put the onus on yourself, there are McMillan nurses who can come and visit him, they’ve dealt with these situations and can help immensely, give them a call their numbers on here. 
    Keep positive I know things are hard but you need time out as well your only one person.

    Stay safe