Coming to terms with the operation.

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Hi All, I was diagnosed with cancer late December 2018, followed by the operation in January 2019.  Although i fully understand the need for the operation I am staruggling when friends and family ask me how i feel.  The truth is I don't feel any emotions apart from anger at the moment.  Three weeks in, i have only just looked in the mirror.  The nursing team have been brilliant and tell me this is all normal however i would be interested to know how other men coped in the early weeks/months.

  • Hey Stephen  sorry to hear you find yourself in this situation but yes what you are feeling is normal. Your body is in trauma and your head still trying to comprehend what has happened in a short space of time.  It will take some time to start to discover the new you .. months probably years so don't beat yourself up right now.  It took me months to look in the mirror and it is still tough at times. 3 weeks in is really early stages but it will get better but do not rush things , things have changed and you will adjust. 

    Where were you treated?

    David 

  • Thanks David.

    The operation was done in Weston Super Mare, where i had a Glansectomy and a partial Pentectomy,  Next check up on Monday, followed by a full torso scan on Wednesday. 

  • Sent a pm to you...  hope all goes well it's a difficult time and off the scale scary so if I can help shout me..

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    I had my op mid-January, and the recovery has been pretty good so far. Further scans are a worry of course, but despite the obvious change physically I'm surprisingly upbeat - though I've no doubt there will be good and not so good times. From my initial diagnosis in September through to the (second) op in January I'd had quite a lot of discomfort and issues, so perhaps the fact those have gone is helping to mask any other worries. Time will tell I'm sure - it's clearly a big change in circumstance, but right now I've not had too many feelings of anger - not that getting it isn't a bit of a bugger - I'm just fingers crossed it is caught in time and life can go on.

  • How do you deal with the most common question I’m asked—-usually the first or second response to someone hearing that I’m being treated for cancer—- “what type of cancer?”  Or “where is it?”    For close friends and family I am happy to just say what tyoe (most don’t believe that penis cancer actually exists) however for other people  I struggle to tell them...and often I brush it off.   

  • I have always said what it is, yes it's a bit comfortable some times but I have learnt to be honest with myself and try to educate others a bit if I can.  

    I did have one experience in radiotherapy one day and the chap next to me said " prostate? "  no penile I said.. " oh where's that then!"  It was just above  me balls but now in jar. 

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to Stephend

    I've found myself becoming much more 'up-front' at times. With those I don't know so well I tend to start with the 'cancer' line, but if they ask where I've found it's generally quicker and easier to just say it. Otherwise it tends to be a series of questions until it gets to that point anyway, so it saves time and let's be honest, it probably is something we should be more aware of. Like many others I'd never heard of it, and it is quite apparent this was true for some of the medical staff I have engaged with.

  • Thanks for your advise - Very useful. 

    Absolutely agree about some medical staff - Thankfully the vast majority are well educated on the subject...