Pancreatic cancer

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Late night ramblings

Splodge321
Posted by

Evening everyone 

I guess I’m getting back to my normal routine and back to late nights. 

A topic we’ve never really discussed “life after death “ I know we’ve skirted around it with a few saying they’re atheists. My personal view has always been whatever you believe is right for you. My mum wasn’t particularly religious but did have faith which pretty much sums me up. When she was diagnosed we joked that we needed a password so if I went to a medium I would only believe she was there with said password. A friend called me today in turmoil as she had been to see a medium at the weekend and didn’t know whether to tell me. She said she had a woman with her who had passed very recently from cancer and wanted her family who wasn’t there to know she was ok. I’m always sceptical about these things especially secondhand but do feel some comfort that if anyone could find a way to get a message through it would be my mum. We saw several mediums over the years some terrible ones but occasionally we were amazed at details and accuracy. Don’t worry I’m not loosing the plot but do take some comfort that my mum is still with us. The only thing to worry about now is she sees all ..... now that is a scary thought x

Squeaky
Posted by

Kate

I think on this one it's up to each individual to believe what they want. If it's a comfort that's what matters. 

Squeaky

Lady Pepys
Posted by

Hello all from the Blue Elephant Thai restaurant in Paris. I’m the well fed looking one in the headscarf....

The two young women are my younger son’s girlfriend and her sister, by coincidence in Paris at the same time as us. 


Pepys xx

KiwiWolf
Posted by

Well, it’s no contest who’s the most glamorous, eh! Tres bon (and that’s about the limit of my French).

Splodge321
Posted by

So happy for you Pepys. Enjoy, you deserve it xx

Lady Pepys
Posted by

Hello everybody,

I’ve been rereading posts this evening in my funny little hotel room...from PhD reviews (jolly well done Squeaky) to animal tales and beyond. Nikki, I had no real idea that keeping a bird could be involved and that budgies have pancreases like us. Yes, what an irony. And yes, fretting over let’s is emotionally draining. Vixen, I kept a rabbit for a while for my children...and ended up with two as the first hot list and then returned. It’s nit an experiment I would repeat though!


Nikki, I’m vain too and the lack of hair is considerable challenge. I packed two wigs and wore neither because I find them too uncomfortable. Bought a new hat on Amazon for my trip and then decided not to take it as my eldest son said it was peculiar. Which it was. Paris is, of course, full of the chicest people. Don’t any of them have cancer? It’s hsrd to believe they do. What I do like about this place, and always have, is the way the elderly walk out at night (sometimes crippled by arthritis or with such bad osteoporosis they have difficulty viewing anything but the ground)...but you get a feeling that it’s not just a young people’s city.  And I love to see those fascinating elderly French people, often women, drinking wine, sometimes alone, at bistros. I’ve often travelled alone and in France you seem to be Teagarden as’normal’.


Back to hair. Something has to be done. I think you’ll agree, Kate, it gives one a new lease of life. So will it be getting to grips with a wig?


I have a very dodgy stomach tonight though I ate well around

5 pm after spending ages at the Picasso museum. It was quite a stressful journey back to the hotel in rushhour metro. No!!! Like being in London. My brother and SIL have gone back out again but I’m afraid I just don’t have that level of energy. I’ve started reading Charlie Hebdo though, like a Parisian...yes, bad tum and thank heavens for tramadol. 


Kate, I read your last post with interest though I am without faith, I nevertheless have curiosity. When people say they have made contact with the dead, I am equally interested (hoping they are not willingly duping the bereaved) and hoping they come up with something convincing. I hope it’s helping you. 


Back to the UK tomorrow, in time for pre -chemo blood tests. My ex-husband has offered to pick me up from Ashford (Eurostar) and take me to the hospital. I have to say everybody has made this trip very easy for me...brother and SIL are just stars...(they will be returning to Copenhagen in the evening) but I’m exhausted.  I guess that’s just how it is. 


By the way, should anyone (with cancer) be thinking of a similar trip, I managed to sort out disabled discounts (oh the glamour!) for galleries etc. Potentially a lot of money to be saved. My French is good so I can always explain situations but it’s not very difficult and mainly involves a letter of explanation from consultant. I do love saving money though this trip has been financed by my saint of a brother.


Time to try and get some sleep, folks. Love to you all!


Pepys xx

Vixen123
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Lady P you look loverly!!!! You really look beautiful & kind. Headscarves really suit you. You look vivacious. Yes it's important to be comfortable. But Lady P you look womanly aswell. You must be so grateful for every day. Since my lovely brave mother 'left'. I feel guilty if i feel bored or lazy. (Although i have arthritis & 2 serious eye conditions). I'm on longterm treatment for life. I don't look like i have anything wrong physically. Except a slightly lazy eye. (Gets more lazy depending on how many 'wines'  i've had.) Actually. One night i was at one of my local boozers. (There are several in Covent Garden!) My joints were very sore that night, i was slightly leaning against the bar to take the pressure off. My boyfriend & i had only had 1 round in a previous pub. One of the female bar staff stared at me suspiciously. (She was foreign. Who knows where she was from). Said 'i'm not serving you. You look drunk'. Gave me no chance to defend myself. She promptly told the other staff not to serve me. I was bloody seething. I demanded to speak to the manager. Told him my medical problems. He apologised. Agreed that i wasn't drunk but because i'd been so annoyed with the barmaid i was barred!!! I was livid. I promptly wrote a scatheing review. Quite a few people were on my side. Plus. The barmaid hasn't been seen since.....

Anyway. You look fabulous. Keep inspiring us. X

Splodge321
Posted by

Evening all

Not often I feel the need to big up a National company but for once I’ve had a very good experience. A couple of months before my mum died my dad needed new glasses and went to spec savers after living with them for about a month and not seeing well they went back and were told the shape of the glasses were wrong for my dads prescription so would be changed free of charge. When they went to collect the new ones my mum decided she wanted new glasses, chose and paid for them. She was due to pick them up the day after she died. A couple of days later I called and said she had died and asked them to donate the glasses to their over seas charity. A day later they called back and asked my dad to go in. We assumed that there was an additional charge. We went in today and took her old glasses for their charity to find that not only had her glasses gone to charity but my dad was to get a full refund as my mum never got the use. Not often you hear good about companies so thought this was worth sharing x

Splodge321
Posted by

Hi Tilly 

How lovely that you and your husband laugh so much together I’m always delighted to hear true love stories especially in times of adversity. 

As for cats and key boards, don’t get me started. Red wine isn’t good on them either. I’ve lost 2 laptops that way xx

Vixen123
Posted by

Lady P. I have to say. You come across as very likeable. Easy going, modest & natural. I love the fact that your ex husband is so willing to help you. You still get on. (Haven't ripped eachothers heads off). I know feeling exhausted is a 'bummer'. I feel that way every day. Arthritis isn't life threatening, but i'm on a very serious immuno suppressant drug. I've been going to University College hospital for about 12 yrs now, i have an infusion every 6 weeks. Plus Moorfields eye hospital for over 20 yrs. It was my birthday on wednesday. (47). I've had the arthritis & 2 serious eye conditions since i was 21. Anyway i mustn't moan, when you're going through such life changing situations. We all wish you well & good luck with your blood results. X

Lady Pepys
Posted by

Good morning Vixen,

I’m not back to normal after my Paris jaunt so not posting much but won’t be long! The Eurostar was difficult yesterday, didn’t stop at ashford due to ‘technical’ problems. They expected everyone to go to London first! The ex was to meet me st ashford but refuses to use mobile phone. Anyway, I was getting very stressed indeed but amazingly rail staff decided to pull out all the stops to help (didn’t lift a bag or anything) so I didn’t travel via London. Got myself to hospital for blood test and should be ok for chemo todsy. 


Arthritis is s pain in the arse, sometimes quite literally. I feel for you. I had a hip replacement a couple of years ago so I know, but fortunately no drugs (except after the op). I have brilliant mobility now. No limping and can walk very fast! 


Oh how I would like you to think I’m a saint re the ex-husband!! It is a very complicated history and he’s a troubled man with very aggressive nature at times. But I believe in trying to salvage something from relationships where I can. And by coincidence we live in the same town so one must try! 


Got annoying headache (behind my eye), must be fatigue. 


I’ll be back!


Pepys xx

KiwiWolf
Posted by

Morning all. That was a great story about the glasses, Splodge (I love everyone’s “handles” even if I know your real names!) Gives you faith in people in these uncertain times. In awe of your studies, Squeaky - was always an able, if not very dedicated, student. Was told I was bright but wasnt very good at applying myself although I did do part of a Classics degree just to prove to someone who pooh-poohed my polytechnic qualification (in art) as not being very worthy, that she as wrong and I was perfectly capable of university studies. After getting A+ in my first year decided I was being daft (had proved a point that really didn’t need proving). You never know, I might finish it one day and become the new Mary Beard!

Pepys, your Paris trip sounded fab - shame about the faff at the end. Rest up and start planning the next trip!

Hello Vixen and Tilly - lovely to “see” some new faces.

Vixen123
Posted by

Hi Lady P. I had an emotional day yesterday. It was my birthday. The first birthday without my lovely, brave, strong mother. I missed getting her cards in the post. She usually sent 2 naughty cards incase 1 got lost! We always, always met up on our birthdays. It was her birthday on the 1st June. That was so tough too. We made eachother laugh. Had the same naughty sense of humour. We loved Auf Weidersehn Pet. Used to quote lines to eachother. We used to love walking round old parts of London. Whenever we spotted celebrities, my mum would always call out to them. She nearly mugged Kathy Burke when we saw her. My mum gave her a hug. Kathy was trying to hail a cab at the time. Missed it, i went bright red. She finally got a cab. Then shouted to us. You made my day!! It was a lovely moment we shared together. Laughed about it for years. Little things like that are unforgettable. You sound like you have a good sense of humour. I think that is so important when you're faced with uncertain situations. Hope your Chemo goes well. X

Splodge321
Posted by

Hi vixen

It was my birthday on Sunday so I get how you feel. It’s only 3 weeks since my mum died and I miss her like crazy but like you I have such wonderful memories of all the fun times we had. So I put on my game face and went out for a lovely meal with my dad and some good friends and we raised a glass to her and it surprised me how much we all enjoyed ourselves. The first everything is going to be tough but cling to those memories, they’re precious. X

Lady Pepys
Posted by

Dear friends,

Well, what a day for me. I felt so unwell and it was a complete puzzle to me where it all came from. Headache (behind the eye mainly) and sickness ALL day. Even tramadol didn’t shift the pain.  I had to cancel my chemo in the afternoon and it’s now been moved to Monday. 


 The cavalry arrived around 6pm in the form of my son, who fed and watered me and eventually restored me to some  level of normality. My goodness, such a shock to the system though.  My son thought I’d probably got myself dehydrated (I was also getting leg cramps) so I’ve tried to rehydrate for the last few hours.


Just reading your posts and look forward to writing some myself. 


Pepys xx