Very frightened and looking for support

Hello, i have reached out on this forum over the past couple of weeks and looking for as much support as possible.  I'm currently waiting for a biopsy appointment after being told bits and pieces of information from the woman who did the ultrasound scan -  i have large tumours in my abdomen, plus other signs that the cancer has spread into my stomach (a thickening of the lining), other parts of my abdomen and i have swollen lymph nodes in my abdomen and chest i think which leads me to thinking the worst with every passing moment as i feel more aches and pains in my chest and elsewherel  they couldn't see actual cancer in the ovaries or womb but one of the other places it could have come from would be the fallopian tubes, but they won't know until the biopsy results which should hopefully happen this week and the Gynae team review my case. the thing that scares me the most is that there is just nothing that they can do at all and that this will be it with no treatment.  Any stories of your experiences and  ways of coping would be so helpful.

  • Hi Melo99, sorry you find yourself on this site. I have not got your type of cancer but that does not really matter at the moment i have cancer so can understand the feelings you are experiencing now, Its all so overwhelming in the beginning but please don.t think there is nothing they cant do, its perfectly normal for this to be your first thought " it was mine" and many others on this s i can assure you. The treatment for cancer have come on leaps and bounds, there is always something to try. When you get your biopsy results you will calmer i know that might sound strange but we all do because its not knowing for sure that scares us. When a treatment plan is put into place and you know what direction you are heading it gets better.As for ways of coping that,s a tricky one, look its early days so try not to panic and over think things i know its not easy. I used to go for a walk and talk to friends and family to keep my mind of things,i also drank a few glasses of wine, why not. I hope it helps a bit. Keep safe Xx 

  • Hi, and sorry to hear what you’re going through right now.

    Having recently been diagnosed with ovarian cancer myself, having a full hysterectomy over Christmas, and about to start chemo, I can honestly say that once your medical team makes a plan with you and you start along that path, you will feel better even though i won’t pretend it’s not still very scary. 

    I found taking things one day at a time really helped - if you can focus on making yourself as comfortable as possible, eat well, get a bit of exercise, and treat yourself kindly, those are things that can give you back some sense of control.

    Stay positive if you can - there are so many treatment options out there now, and your medical team will be there for you every step of the way.

    Be thinking of you - and hope the next steps go well for you,


  • Hi Melo99, so sorry to hear what youre going through.  As with so many of us on this site, I experienced similar, and am now almost exactly one year on from my first appointment, having gone through successful chemo and surgery and am now in remission on a maintenance programme.  Looking at it from where I am now, I can tell you that the worst days for me were exactly where you are now.    As others below have said, once you have your treatment plan you will feel better and more in control - it's the awful uncertainty and finding yourself in a world you have (hopefully!) never had to visit before.  It's a steep learning curve, but my advice is to listen only to people you trust - the medical team, and websites such as this one - don't google stuff that might scare you! 

    It's tough, but you are in great hands with your Gynae team, and it sounds as though things are moving forwards, although every day of uncertainty is agony.  Good luck to you, be kind to yourself and you will know soon enough what's going on and what your plan is.  Then you can move forwards.  Stay safe x

  • Thank you so much for your replies.  i now have my diagnosis of high grade ovarian cancer, it hasn't spread outside of my abdomen and my oncologist has been very good at helping me to feel positive about the possibilities of being able to get rid of the cancer completely and how effective the treatments now are.  i start my chemotherapy tomorrow and i'm still feeling very scared.  i don't know what grade or stage it is and i almost don't want to know so i can just focus on getting rid of it completely.  i have moments of feeling strong and positive but any other tips about how to deal with it all will be great.

  • Hi Melo99 

    glad you are starting your treatment tomorrow, my advice would be just take one day at a time, follow the advice from your chemo team, I only learnt what type of cancer I had when I

    was put onto Olaparib last month! You

    dont need to know if

    you don’t want, your team know and will give you the best treatment, accept that the first 7-10 days after chemo will be a bit rough , but you will get into a routine and feel better.  Drink plenty of water and pace yourself, my first chemo I couldn’t get out of bed hardly for 3 days, but it did get better as my body
    got used to it .  If you need any advice please message on here and we can help you. Good luck for tomorrow, I will be thinking of you xxxx

    love and virtual hugs


  • Me again!! 
    I think there is a problem with notifications when  someone has Posted, I am checking in every evening, but please don’t think that ladies are not replying, they may not be getting their e mails!  Xxx


  • Hi Melo,

    i hope your chemo has gone well today. Be kind to yourself, and rest up as much as you need to. I found that for the first few days after each round I could barely get out of bed, and could only walk to the bathroom and back. But from a week after the chemo, I got better and stronger each day. 

    I was diagnosed 14 months ago with stage IV ovarian cancer; a year ago I’d just had my second round of chemo. Now I’m on Avastin as a maintenance treatment, and am back to feeling good in myself. Such a huge difference!

    You sound as though you’ve got a good oncology team there, so I hope all goes really well for you x

  • Just wanted to say hi, and hope your first chemo has gone well.

    As others have said already, my advice is to be kind to yourself and listen to what your body needs on the bad days and be as much like “you” as you can be when you’re feeling up to it. I find keeping a little chart with emoji - style drawings of how I’m feeling each day helps me to see I have more good days than bad overall, and to spot the pattern of days I shouldn’t make any plans for.

    I’m on my first cycle of chemo now too, having been diagnosed (much like you) with ovarian cancer confined to the pelvic area and stomach lining. Mine was Stage 2b.

    You haven’t mentioned, but I’m guessing your oncology team might also be planning surgery for you at some point? I had mine on 23rd December and, true to what she said pre-op, my surgeon was able to remove everything visible - so please keep faith with your oncologist when he/she says this can be the case for you too.

    Be thinking of you - and please keep us posted on your progress. 

    We can do this !!


  • hi everyone, thank you all for your kind responses.  i'm not getting notifications for some reason.  i have started my chemo and suffering from terrible constipation and pain in my belly and down below, i am doing all i can do cope with this and have been given various laxatives but it feels very scary.  i wonder if anyone else has experienced the same.

  • Hi again Melo,

    Yes, I’m afraid constipation seems to be pretty standard when you’re on chemo. Mostly I think it’s the anti sickness drugs that cause it rather than the chemo itself, and I’ve certainly found that after the first few days, when I come off the anti sickness meds, it’s not quite so bad.....Hopefully that’ll be the case for you too.

    Diet-wise, I’m trying to eat more high fibre fruits, such as grapes and kiwis, high fibre cereals and vegetable soups.......and prune juice has become my new best friend !!

    I’ve found it’s worth carrying on with the laxatives too, even if they don’t seem to be helping, as they can often take a few days to achieve results.

    All the best,