Hi everyone I'm new here,
My dad was diagnosed with this awful disease a year ago now which is MDS, he has had brain cancer for 27 years and weirdly the chemotherapy he had for that has actually helped and the tumour is fine but if it was to grow untreatable. The chemotherapy caused the mds which in turn made dad feel really sad, like I said he was diagnosed a year ago with mds. We got told my mum me and my brother and husband that my dad was terminal on the 30th November 21, its now January we were told that my dad as of the 6th Jan has 3 months minimum left to live, since this news my dad has became increasingly worse. The Dr's told my mum to sign a DNR and also that he will eventually go into a hospice, what I'm most worried about is how fast this is all happening I feel as though I'm still not used to the fact he's terminal now he has 3 months... since dad came out of hospital last Friday he has now got hardly any appetite and has been given shakes to have which mum offers as and when he feels hungry, he's unable to take his medications and this is taking my mum 2 hours to give to him. I wasn't able to see him much this past week as myself husband and our 2 kids(8 and 16 months) were unwell and didn't want to pass anything on to dad. I've came to stay tonight as dad needs to be watched in the night and his bed is downstairs since being here I've noticed he's zoning out a lot more and isn't really responding like he normally would he's also got this rattly raspy cough that the Dr's have said is nothing but I'm thinking is it him now nearing end of life he had his platelets and blood transfusion on Thursday and is due to have his next lot on Monday coming but I'm so worried that I'm going to have to bring my daughter down next week to say bye to her granddad
I feel selfish for feeling like this as I don't live with mum and dad anymore so at home it's just her my brother and my dad. His carers come in 4 times a day they are literally angels but I am worried as I can see him deteriorating faster than we thought. He spent his last Christmas in hospital unable to see his only grandchildren my 2 kids and he spent my 29th birthday in hospital also which makes me sad as I know next year he won't be here they have told us that. Has anyone else experienced this before
Many thanks for letting me write in here and apologises if I have worried or upset anyone I just needed to write all this out and get it off my chest. Ps I googled his cough with end of life cancer signs and this cough was one of them
Thanks again worried daughter
Hi CancerIsCrap and welcome to this corner of Community but so sorry to hear about your dad, this is such a hard time for all the family.
I have a different incurable blood cancer this is stable at the moment and you may find that most if not all the folks in this group are living with their conditions.
When it comes to the practical challenges of supporting someone on a journey like this you may well benefit from joining and posting in our supportive general Carers only and Supporting someone with incurable cancer groups where you will connect with others supporting family during these very difficult times.
You could copy and paste the text from this post and put this up in the above groups.
The Macmillan Support Line is open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00 or via Webchat and Email too. This service provides cancer information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear. You may also find our Ask an Expert section helpful but do allow a few working days for a reply.
All the very best.
