Jane is a haematology nurse with extensive experience in stem cell and bone marrow...
Hi my ne is Connie, I live in Poole Dorset and as I have cancer and all my friends have disappeared. Asked on a Facebook page if any one had found that the too have found this. I posted at the weakend and so far have 203 replayed saying yes and 3 who say no. This strangely mademe feal a bit better as realised it not just me!
So iam trying to find a group to join near me to make new friends
I'm sorry to hear that all your friends have 'disappeared' since you have discovered that you have cancer. I guess that sometimes people don't know what to say or how to react so keeping away is easier for them. However, it isn't easier for you.
If you click on this link it'll take you to information on getting support. Scroll to the bottom of the page and type in you postcode to see what groups are near you.
Don't forget that there will be plenty of people in this group who will be happy to chat to you if you start a conversation here. I know it's not the same as face to face contact but everyone here will be non judgemental and most people will have cancer and will understand how you feel.
Sending a supportive ((hug))
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
What is a Community Champion?
I found the same reaction from some of my friends at the time I was undergoing treatment. They simply disappeared. Here I am 13 years after treatment (there is such a time!) and I have never seen or heard from those people again. I even tried to reconnect with them but with no success. Other friends stayed in contact with me during my treatment and remain friends so many years later.It really has nothing to do with you but more likely their inability to deal with something as emotionally intense as cancer and its possible consequences. It's wise of you to move on and make new friends.
Seems to be common my ex Boss was I thought a friend but he and his wife do not like Negative things, subsquently I have not heard from them in 7 months, seems like when you have, a Negative sign on your back saying, cancer Patient,they Do say when in real need you know who your friends are.Look at it this way they are not worth your time any way,if they like that.
I think your right. But as I cannot go many places. How do I make new friends.x
Have you used the link I gave you Conchie68 to see if there are any groups near you?
Just wanted to extend a warm welcome to the myeloma corner of the forum. We’re a very friendly bunch so please stick around and hopefully you’ll find some connections here. Also, have you tried Myeloma UK, they have some local support groups that meet up face to face - I’m sure they’ll be some in the South Coast so they may be worth a try?
All the best
What is a Community Champion?
Myeloma UK has a great search tool for finding myeloma support groups, here:
I searched for Poole, and there is a Dorset myeloma support group, and luckily enough it is meeting next Friday 26 July.
It is meeting in the Barrington Centre in Ferndown. The Barrington Centre is situated opposite Tescos. Free parking is available in Tesco’s car park.
Dorset Myeloma Support Group usually meets at 1.45pm for a 2.00pm start on the last Friday of every month.
Contact details for the group leader can be found on the above link.
I hope that helps! I have made a very good friend by attending a support group in London. We were each others "WhatsApp" buddies as we went through our Stem Cell Transplants, met up again (with our new chemo-hair styles!) on Wednesday, and are planning to meet up for dinner soon.
All the best,
i was diagnosed back in feb this year with multiple myeloma, your not alone. How are you coping with it all so far
Hi Mark I am doing well, just cannot stand the lolyness. And the fact that I have not the energy to do things. And now have to pay someone to do all the things I can't do anymore. I have lived on my own now for 25 years. And have been able to do most of the day to day chorus my self ie gardening, decorating and most small jobs. And find it very frustrating. I have gone through this myaloama most of the time buy myself, but inside I am scared. I have never felt so helplesd
Oh Connie. It really does sound like you could do with a good friend, a good chat, and a good hug. Please try to get to the Dorset myeloma support group tomorrow night. They will all know what you are going through and it can be so helpful to talk to people with the same challenges.
Tomorrow afternoon, not night!
It can be hard, the treatment although does not seem as bad as bags of blood going through you can be pretty gruelling I must admit. I’ve felt terrible most of the time. It does zap all of your energy. I found it hard to even walk to end of the street.
your right though, at the start all my work mates were in touch a lot, now 6 months on I’m lucky if I hear from them, they seem to distance themselves from us when this happens.
i know you shouldn’t ask a lady her age but do you mind me asking, I’ve been chatting to a lot of people on here that have it and it mainly affects people over 60. I’m 44 and they said it’s not as common for younger people to get it
Hi I am 58, but they said I have had it for a very long time. Which explains all the tiredness I had for a very long time and all the pains. That was put down to my anxiety and depression that I have had for most of adult life.
Have you started treatment for it now, how are you finding it all. I wish I was nearer to you. I said same thing as you did, I couldn’t find any groups near to me to talk about things. This site has been a saviour really. It still seems a rare cancer although many people being diagnosed with it more and more. I’m up in Essex although I am from Cornwall myself so not too far away. Talking can help, it doesn’t change what we are going through but does help talking to others with same conditions
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