Mesothelioma

A place for people affected by mesothelioma to support one another, ask questions, and share their experiences.

Rapid decrease in health

Mandg42
Posted by

Well after his fall he’s being kept in he has urinary sepsis and the new scans have shown that he has secondary brain cancer from the prostate cancer, from what his gp said tonight it sounds pretty advanced. My heart is barely holding together I can’t imagine the pain my mum feels right now. 

AprilTS
Posted by

So sorry to hear this. It must be unbearable to know that there is absolutely nothing you can do, apart from giving them both emotional support. Is he getting support from a hospice service? Once active treatment stops I think a hospice bed is far preferable to a hospital. There is more privacy, unrestricted visiting and staff around who are experienced in symptom relief and more confident in increasing pain relief medication as needed.

The hospital didn't acknowledge that my mother was reaching the end until it was too late to move her into a hospice, although there were plenty of clues several days before. Her wish not to die in hospital was not respected because family members were reluctant to accept no more could be done.

April

Happily retired animal lover
Mandg42
Posted by

He desperately wants to come home, he promised to stay in to the end of this week. We said we need to get a bed and he said he will shuffle on his bum up the stairs  explained to him that it’s more about mum having to run up and down. Even now he is fiercely independent and still has his wit, I love him so so much I can’t imagine not talking to him every day 

Mandg42
Posted by

Well we found out today that it’s in his adrenal glands and doctor said probably his bones, they’re fast tracking him home this week for end of life care. He’s been given 3 months, I cannot even explain how we feel sometimes you just crack on with life then other times your heart hurts and you can’t stop crying.

i can’t imagine never having my big strong dad to talk to everyday, I just cannot imagine how scared my mum is

Johnty
Posted by

Dear, I am sorry to read your latest update. I sincerely hope he will receive the very best end of life care possible. It’s all about maintaining the best quality of life possible. Take all the help you are offered as this will allow you to spend as much time as possible being his daughter and your mum being his wife and not only his carer. I’ve personally seen this strategy in action and it gives great comfort to all concerned. I send all my very best wishes to you and your family.

best wishes

jane

 “ A trouble shared is a trouble halved “
Mandg42
Posted by

Thank you so much for your thoughts x

Mandg42
Posted by

How’s your dad April did he have his scan x

AprilTS
Posted by

Hi

He's still waiting for it. 

I've sent an excoriating complaint to the hospital today, and they have forwarded it to the ward manager. I imagine they are all running around like and and dad will be getting 5 star treatment from now on. 

I pointed out that the only reason I have not copied it to the press is that dad wouldn't want me to and the headlines might read "dying man forced to wait hours for morphine because the staff are too busy". Imagine how far that would circulate on the eve of the election! 

April

Happily retired animal lover
Mandg42
Posted by

It’s absolutely shocking isn’t it, it differs ward to ward too. First one my dad was on wasn’t much cop but the second they could not do enough for him! I hope your Dad recieves the treatment he deserves, on top of everything else you can do without worrying if he’s being looked after 

mand x