Mesothelioma

A place for people affected by mesothelioma to support one another, ask questions, and share their experiences.

What to expect?

AprilTS
Posted by

Hi

My 85yr old father was diagnosed with Mesothelioma 3 weeks ago and has been discharged home with carers visiting twice a day. He is not being offered any treatment as they think he is too frail. There is plenty of information about the disease but none of it seems to explain how he is likely to progress. He is in quite a lot of pain when his morphine wears off but otherwise doesnt seem to have any other symptoms. His doctors haven't given him any expectation of how long he's got, or what new symptoms he might develop. It makes it hard to plan activities for him. What can I do to support him and make his life happier in the time he's got left.

Happily retired animal lover
pottermouse
Posted by

Hi

Sorry to hear about your dad, I would just spend as much time as you can with your dad, just being there with him and talking to him as well as listerning , to him.

I lost my husband five and half months ago, he was only 68yrs old, and even after being together for 49 years there was still not enough time to talk and say what we needed to, so don't wait, and regret not saying what you need to say while it matters.

I hope you get a little more time with your dad.

take care of each other

Barb x
AprilTS
Posted by

Thank you for your reply Barb. It must be dreadful to be widowed so young, and to have to see your husband suffering. 

My dad is 85 and has had quite a good life, so it's not as tragic as your loss. The main things we need to know is what other symptoms he might experience, and how long will he stay relatively well.  I'd like to book outings for him, such as a concert or perhaps a weekend break, but it would be so upsetting for him if he wasn't well enough to go at the time.

Anything you can tell me about your husbands illness would be very helpfull, if it's not too painful to talk about. 

April

Happily retired animal lover
pottermouse
Posted by

Hi April

My husband Steve was fit and healthy up until Mesothelioma was diagnosed in Feb 2018, he did have the operation to remove all they could in the May 2018, but it came back in January this year, he had two sessions of Chemo, but it didn't work for him and the cancer just grew at an alarming rate, by the end of April they told us there was nothing else they could offer, only pain relief.

Steve suffered a constant cough, and loss of weight, he started to have panic attacks, and got very tiered, he didn't feel like going out or doing very much other than sitting watching the birds in the garden. I know how you feel trying to fit as much into your dad's life while you can, but if your dad is not well enough, it may make him worse, and being in his own home is probably the best place for him.

I was lucky that I had Steve at home with me when he passed away, but the time was too short, and I wish every day that he could be here with me. This is a cruel  aggressive cancer, but some people can live longer than others with it, if you have a local Mesothelioma nurse close by they will be able to talk you through the next stages of your dads life.

Take Care

Barb x
AprilTS
Posted by

Hi Barb

Thank you for your reply, which was very helpful. My dad doesn't have a cough but has lost weight and felt generally down for several months. He thought his pain was from arthritis which he's had for many years , and some of it may still be. I'm hoping that once he settles back down at home, and is taking his pain relief consistently, he will have some quality months where he can enjoy activities as long as they are not too strenuous for him.

April

Happily retired animal lover
BirdK
Posted by

Hi April just reading through your post, I don’t know if it will help but if you read my profile you may see a few symptoms, although everyone reacts differently to this illness.

I was waiting every day for a new symptom or obvious sign of dad getting better or worse, reading everything I could but looking back until the very last day dad carried on as well as he could, still getting out of bed to use the loo, his coughing did get worse and swallowing was very difficult.

My thoughts are with you all, I hope all is well.

katie

Katie xx 

AprilTS
Posted by

Thanks Katie

Dad is doing well at the moment. His only symptom is pain, no cough or shortness of breath. Perhaps it will all set in later, but for now he's able to do things that interest him.

April

Happily retired animal lover