Mesothelioma

A place for people affected by mesothelioma to support one another, ask questions, and share their experiences.

Agression and bad temper

katie2016
Posted by

My dad was diagnosed with mesothelioma (lung) over 3 years ago. He was given 9-18 months initially but  has lived well beyond the drs expectations. The problem my family have is that my father is a very nasty and agressive individual and we are all struggling to cope. It has gone way beyond what i anticipated in terms of low mood etc, and was wondering if anyone else has experience of this with their family member. Friends and family have now stopped visiting because he is so vile to them when they do. His nastiness and anger is so bad, i cannot explain, and whilst i get to go home my poor mum does not. She is not well herself, suffering with a serious back condition, and now needs 2 new knees. My dad has never been a loving caring sort of a husband, nor was he a family kind of dad. Don't get me wrong, we never went without, but my dad lived his life as a single man, and i think half the trouble now is that this life has been taken away from him. My feelings (as are all my immediate family) in turmoil, because we know meso will take him, but it's almost as if we haved lost him years ago. I query also and  dementia , although there has been no formal diagnosis  he has a fantastic long term memory, but short term is very poor. None of us can cope,and i am seriously worried about my mum, and what lies ahead, for him, her and all of us. He is alienating everyone, and i don't know what to do. I am planning to ring the helpline on monday for advice. If anyone can relate in even a small way, i would appreciate a reply.

Thank you in advance. x

GerryC
Posted by

Hi Katie,

I am so sorry to hear about the position that your family are in.  I can empathise with your father feeling angry and scared initially after diagnosis, I myself am 3+ years post diagnosis but time has pasted on.  I not sure that the diagnosis is the sole cause of his attitude to your family.  You mentioned trying to get advise from a helpline, that's a great idea, from your description it does seem that there is another problem here.  Not sure where you are seeking advice but could I recommend Mesothelioma UK, they really are the experts on caring for this condition.

Best wishes to you and your family, hope you find help for your dad.

GerryC