Melanoma

A support group for anyone affected by melanoma to come together, share experiences, and ask questions.

Oh this waiting time is so hard

Hopeful6
Posted by

Hi Friends.

It's still 10 days to my op to remove all lymph nodes on one side of groin.

I know it will only have been a month from the results of stage 3 in the nodes to the op but the days are dragging and the nights so long.

I have decluttered the house top to bottom, charity shops are doing well!!  Checked my will and planned my funeral!!I  I am  trying  so hard to be positive, doing games, puzzles, walking my dog, shopping, watching tv of course but my mind is doing overtime. just hoping I have a few more years ahead. I am trying to live in the moment as best I can.

I couldn't have gotten through the last week's without our local Macmillan nurse being there for me daily. She has made so many phone calls to various information points for me and just listened to me if I needed to talk.. She has put me in touch with the cancer support team in the hospital where I am having the op and they are lovely and will be there for me on the day of arrival. We are so lucky to have such special people to help us at these difficult times.

Hope you don't mind me putting my feelings on here but being in own it's good to talk/share.

Hugs to all on their own tonight

Hopeful 6
lgrgdg90
Posted by

Hi I do know what you are going through as 10 years ago I was in a similar position.I like you tried to keep busy to take my mind off it but I had times when I felt incredible fear and remember sitting up most of some nights downstairs with a duvet as I couldn’t sleep. However that was 10 years ago and you can see I am still here. The operation went ok and I stayed in hospital for 14 days. These days people are out much earlier and I didn’t feel I needed to be in for that length of time.They kept me in till they took the drains out.

My results showed no melanoma left in remaining nodes. It was only 7 years later when I had a relapse with spread internally with melanoma. I am at present having immunotherapy and feel very well I am able to live a normal life and went abroad two weeks ago for a holiday. I did have councilling years ago but now feel my illness has made me appreciate life more and most days I feel very positive. I feel this site is very helpful and informative. It is good to talk to people and also getting out into the fresh air with your dog. Macmillan is such a good ,caring organisation and you are in good hands. I agree the waiting can be the worst time.It is a good idea of yours to de clutter your house and try to get out with someone you can talk to Take care and it will soon be over.

Lgrgdg90
Hopeful6
Posted by

Ah thank you very much for sharing your positive experience.

It does give hope  that there is life after, it has made me feel a bit lighter to hear from someone who understands. Some friends don't know what to say except 'be positive ' and 'put it to the back of your mind'.mmm!

Tomorrow is a new day and I will  do something positive. Thank you again

Hopeful 6
keith1155
Posted by

This is actually a reply to several posts on here tonight. Lots you are asking about waiting and being alone. I would bet that everyone on this site has been there. You all know what I mean. Two O'clock in the morning, maybe you have family maybe you don't. But at this time of day all you have is your loneliness and probably pain. But you're here now and there is always someone who'll chat, they won't judge and they won't have answers because there are none. But they will do their best to make the world seem a little less shitty. Yeh, we've all cried and wanted "it" to go away knowing that it will still be there tomorrow. And that's part of your answer, there will be a tomorrow. There are telephone numbers where you can talk to a real person and loads of chat rooms. The people who answer do so not just because "we've been there", they answer because they care. And a last thought before I waffle on too long. Look at the people posting their good wishes, they've been doing it for 3, 5, 10, 20 years. You'll see that everyone is different, so maybe it will be worse before its better but it will be new and different. Dying is only one possible outcome. You may become spiritually stronger or appreciative of some thing you've forgotten. For me I know the sun will rise and it may rise without me but I will know I tried. Get through the next few minutes, maybe read a few more posts on here, soon it will be a new day and maybe a less shitty one. 

a father and gardener, I successfully grow plants and proudly grow children

Hopeful6
Posted by

Good morning everyone

Thank you so much for positivity.

Friday, up at  5am,  planning a positive day. More bags to a new charity shop that is opening here next week. Most of mine have gone to the cancer research shop of course.  Then a friend is giving me lovely reiki healing. Maybe followed by fish and chip lunch!.Then looking forward to my fav tv program tonight, gardeners world which is always makes me feel good, will probably but some pansies tomrow to plant for spring.  Thinking about my op is still in my mind but i  I feel better just planning the day. Wishing everyone a nice day

Hopeful 6
lgrgdg90
Posted by

Hi I am so pleased you are going to have a very interesting and productive day. I love winter pansies and your writing has made me decide to go and get some this weekend.It is good to think of things that you like to do and if possible go and do them.I am off to my bead class today.I have been doing it for a year and the others are far better at it than me but I have been made so welcome and love going.A few years ago I wouldn’t have plucked up the courage to join a new group.Have a lovely day x

Lgrgdg90