Advice please feeling really down

Hello first can i send you a hug,  I'm sorry to hear your news and can't imagine how you must be feeling.

From reading your post you say the xrays looks like the cancer is back in your lungs, I know it must be really difficult but try to cling onto that hope that it might not be. 

I think very much like you, although i have only had breast cancer the once, Why has it happened to me? I've never smoked, don't drink. But i guess thats a question no one can answer. 

Don't be giving up, would you consider IV chemo IF you needed it in a private room?? I know the hospital i go to has a couple of private rooms people go into. You could ask if your hospital has the same option.

When do you next see your consultant? If you finished your treatment 2 years ago your breast care nurse should still be available to you to talk to, i know mine told me they are available for us 5 years after diagnosis.

Another option would be to talk to someone from Macmillan you can ring between 8am - 8pm 7 days a week,  0808 808 00 00 maybe just chatting to someone would help.

But you know we are always around, give us a shout. 

Best wishes and Big Hugs xx

Hi Sceiptfan and Thank you for your kind words.

I am still in a.shock and I lost the faith in a healthcare.I am getting really down.

My BC nurse wasn't really good the only thing she could do for me is to call a psychiatrist when I had a meltdown and panic attack during the chemo.And my hospital refused me to give me even a bed and left me to wait 2 hrs to start the treatment.I assume because I am young.My appointments was sometimes at 11 and I didn't get inside till 1:30 and didn't leave the hospital till 6 pm.

That's why I don't want do chemo anymore plus I can't face hair loss and looking like a Martian and wearing the scared and hats and in London everybody is looking at you and they know.Idont know how people having chemo for years but I can't do it.I prefer to die to enjoy the rest of my life then just to sit in the hospital.I just keep.thinking about dying right now.and want to see my family last time I lost all hope.