Treatment delayed because of pain

Hi 

So very sorry that you have cause to be on here.

It is not unusual for a cancer team to try to focus on stabilising pain before starting r resuming treatment. Chemo can be quite brutal so Mum will need to be at the best possible  before they will start the chemo.

Could you ask the doctors what they are aiming for in terms of Mum's health before they start the chemo?

Kegsy x

Thank you. I am not able to speak with doctors as mum wont allow any family in with her when the doctors come to see her. She is very much a closed book with things like this and i dont think she is dealing and coping with it. She dosent want to know anything to about what the future holds etc. x

Hey Halfpint

When was the radiotherapy. It can make it worse before it gets better so it could be that if it was in last couple of weeks or so. It is too soon to say if the radiotherapy has worked, it takes time and can work for months after it has been given. 

I know it is all so frustrating for all of you and like you say having a pandemic going on is not helping at all. 

Re the medication Pregablin and Amitriptyline treat the same thing so they likely have swapped her from one to the other. They are both designed to muffle nerve pain.

It sounds like they are doing all they can to get her pain under control and there are so many options so it can take a bit of tweaking to get what works for her and control the pain without causing side effects. It sounds like they are working hard at this and Mum being comfy is the most important thing to deal with.

Mum needs to be in good shape for the chemotherapy as it is can be a tough treatment.

If it helps, we are all different but my reaction to appointments was very similar to your Mum's. I went to all my appointments alone one because I was scared and didn't want my family to know how much but also because I was worried if someone who came with me asked a question that I just didn't want to know the answer to. It's ok not to want to know and about 2.5 years down the line I still haven't asked my prognosis and I doubt I ever will. I have a good idea and believe I have passed my sell by date. 

She is still processing how she feels about it all herself and it takes a long time to do that and it can be a bumpy ride too. As you have said she is in a lot of pain so it is hard to think straight with all the pain and medications. When she is under control she may open up more.

For now, just allow her to say as much or as little as she likes and just be there for her as you usually are. One thing I hated after diagnosis people seemed to think I wanted to have it brought up in every single conversation and I hated it so much. They of course thought they were being supportive but I had said please stop I want to be 'normal' I am still me and have lived all this time without speaking about cancer every time I sore someone so I want that to continue. Often, the less people ask, I will talk to them about it more.

I hope this helps a little to explain how Mum is feeling right now.

Hope she is in less pain soon and you get to chat some more to her when she is ready.