Kidney cancer

A place for people affected by kidney cancer to support one another, ask questions, and share their experiences.

Just diagnosed and having surgery

Spin
Posted by

Hi There , My journey has been so farva bit of whirl wind.I am lucky enough to have private health cover through my emoloyer therefore within the last week and a half I have had an ultra sound and CT scan as well as.a diagnosis for RCC. I am due to have surgery on Wednesday this week. I am very grateful for how quickly this has progressed as the pressure of waiting was bad enough for me and I realise I am lucky compared to weeks of waiting for some. 

My closest friends and family now know but why do  I feel very alone ? It's so hard putting on a brave face when all I want to do is whail /sob from the top of my lungs !! 

My partner is quite closed down and does not respond well to tears etc so I feel as if I am carrying on as if it's just an in growing toe nail removed rather than a kidney.To top it all off my employer called me last week and thought i would be back at work in weeks.

I dont wish to wallow in feeling sorry for myself but at the same time am finding really hard to stay upbeat for everyone else's sake 

Is this a normal experience for others or am I being selfish 

Spin
Posted by

That should read - my employer is expecting me back at work in 2 weeks ! 

buttercup01
Posted by

No, you're not being selfish n Yes, it is a normal experience.

You've had a shock, apart from anything else,  n once u have the op certainly don't expect to b back at work in 2 weeks!

In fact, u may need to do a phased return.

If u can't talk to ppl n r putting on a brave face for them, then come on here n talk to us. We've been there n got the t shirt so we can support u through it. There's even a place ( The Room) to vent, rant if need be n another to wail /sob(Emotional issues)

Good luck for your op on Wed. Let us know how it goes x 

Fear of the unknown is the worst thing. Once we know what we're facing, we find the strength to deal with it.
Spin
Posted by

Thank you. I will certainly check out the suggested rooms. What can I expect from the recovery time both physically and mentally etc  -  everything I have read so far has been a little conflicting.   I have been told thecancer has not travelled anywhere else which is good however I can't help but wonder if something has been missed or lurking around. Sorry to bombard you with questions 

Spin
Posted by

Thank you. I will certainly check out the suggested rooms. What can I expect from the recovery time both physically and mentally etc  -  everything I have read so far has been a little conflicting.   I have been told thecancer has not travelled anywhere else which is good however I can't help but wonder if something has been missed or lurking around. Sorry to bombard you with questions 

Joncol
Posted by

You’ve got through the worst already! It’s traumatic going through the tests and waiting for results. My GP said that the diagnosis always is a shock and the body reacts to that! I found I couldn’t eat, sleep or function normally! Once a plan is in place things get easier. The operation is major and takes time to get over. I went back to work as a teacher after seven weeks. Looking back far too early, physically and mentally. After the operation take it very easy. It’s natural to be frustrated. I just made myself shuffle around each day and gradually built up the walking. It certainly helped ease the pain. 

Jane
Spin
Posted by

Thankyou for your reassurance . I have been the same i e  not eating or sleeping etc but thankfully it wasn't too long before i knew unlike others.

Now close friends and family have been told it all now  feels a bit surreal . Its as if it is happening to someone else. I cant quite  take it in that it is me who has it. I am just  ploughing through the next few days now until surgery.

How long ago did you have your surgery and have you had any scares since. I think that is my biggest worry ime that it will come back or be some where else already.

buttercup01
Posted by

Hi Spin, I think u need to  try n take it a day at a time. 

Don't waste your energy on what ifs, save it for dealing with the immediate things, eg your op on Wed.

For what it's worth, I had my surgery 14 years ago next month and yes, I've had it pop up elsewhere ( secondaries) in that time - so have others in this  group - but we're still here thanks to regular monitoring (in my case every 3 months) and drugs in most cases .Personally, I've been on a treatment break the past 3.5 years. Long may that continue!

Fear of the unknown is the worst thing. Once we know what we're facing, we find the strength to deal with it.
Joncol
Posted by

I had my surgery in January this year and have just had my six months ct scan which is clear. My tumour was small, low grade and inside the kidney so a low risk of recurrence but I can’t help worrying. Mostly I put it to the back of my mind and only my scars remind me that I now only have one kidney! This group are amazingly supportive and understand. Only someone who has heard those words “you have cancer” truly know what you’re going through.

Jane
Jo300
Posted by

I had surgery 5 years ago and went back to work at 4 1/2 weeks - which was too soon physically.

Your employer is totally daft - you're having a major organ removed for goodness sake. Any significant surgery you'd expect a minimum of 6 weeks assuming everything goes totally to plan. Whatever you do, don't feel pressured into going back to work before you are ready. You'll still be in pain just walking at 2 weeks.

One side effect of surgery is extreme tiredness usually mid afternoon, for what can be many months. My surgeon told me that this was very very common - so a staged return as Fl0ral woman says may well be necessary.

I developed mets after 2 years - but I'm perfectly well and stable and have been on treatment for three years. My friend, who had RCC & a nephrectomy two years before me is still totally clear at 7 years.

Just worry about the here and now. I spent the time before my op getting everything in the house / garden / work organised so that I didn't have to lift a finger, other than to drink wine in the garden once I was recovering. Bizarrely ended up being a rather nice summer!!

Lots of luck to you.

Jo
x
Spin
Posted by

Jo300. A drink in the garden sounds like the right way to go. My op is in a few hours later today so I will have that lovely thought in my mind 

buttercup01
Posted by

Good luck for your op very soon

Fear of the unknown is the worst thing. Once we know what we're facing, we find the strength to deal with it.
buttercup01
Posted by

How was the op? Hope you've had a decent sleep n are feeling a bit perky.Thinking of u x

Fear of the unknown is the worst thing. Once we know what we're facing, we find the strength to deal with it.
Spin
Posted by

The op apparently went fine . I was taken to HDU as I was struggling a bit. Yesterday was a bit rubbish as they couldn't get pain or sicknesd under control which wasn't nice . Today I am feeling much better so it's onwards and upwards from here 

buttercup01
Posted by

Glad you're feeling better much better today x

Fear of the unknown is the worst thing. Once we know what we're facing, we find the strength to deal with it.