Recently diagnosed

Jakki:
spot. on.! - my treatment also feels longer than it has been; due to my memory vanishing; the last thing I really clearly recall in my mind was August last year, in Sweden, with Karin, then September the 1st, attending the funeral for  Chris, who had been, my longest ever partner, who died of cancer, whilst I was away in Sweden. Next thing I knew; I was having the portacath inserted, and starting chemotherapy; and I still thought it was 2014! - I'm even worse ATM of course; due to menapause mood swings! - I'm not even sure I want normality back; I haven't the faintest idea what my 'normality' used to be;.... --- actually to be fair... I'm kinda half looking forward to embracing the new non-normality... - W and I sneaked out this morning, for a it of shopping... the actual shop didn't show up anything I liked; I ended up buying two gorgeous blouses and a loverly little waistcoat from a charity shop... - I think whatever emerges from the end of  my treatment won't be anything like what went into it... but, sod it... It's certainly a little more.... flamboyant than what went in I think! - life is.... to coin a phrase, way to damn  short! - just so long as I can avoid  these really negative mood swing things... if they're bad for me, and you lot... I can't imagine what I'm  forcing William to endur... I must try make it up to him.... somehow...

thanks. ou lot are all such a great support. really you are.

Mark

Phil, happy birthday enjoy it as its a special one post treatment, might be worth ringing your nurse if you do not hear about the scan by the end of the week, sometimes the system just needs oiling. Any curls starting to appear yet? with my chemo it was very much the norm.

Good to read that you are all adjusting to life post treatment and starting to move on, you may well have the odd blip, but see it as that.

Tom, have not read your chapter yet but you will find it interesting in years to come when you look back and read your blog and be reminded what you went through and coped with as I found after a couple of years it all started to drift into history. Then when you add chemo brain well thats it in the past and lost. 

Mark you are nearly there so hang in and it will all be over and like Tom you will bounce back.

Jakki well done on doing the race even if you did walk, bet everyone was proud and it will have felt special for you.

How's the emotions going these days? don't be surprised if you find you get the proverbial lump in the throat much quicker and in situations when you never did pre treatment. I know mine have changed and its not something thats mentioned like chemo brain. 

The shoulder is still improving thanks everyone, off to see the physio this afternoon, so the hard workstarts today to try to strengthen it and see how good we can get it.

Hope all the girls going through treatment can take some strength from the success that Tom, Jakki and Mark has had and that Phil follows suits as I know some of you have scans this week.

hope the sun returns soon as it seems to have departed the NE.

Have a fabulous birthday Phil and a good meal!

Happy birthday Phil!!

+ yes John you're right. I still need to get through Friday's ultrasound... the scanxiety is mounting day by day.

Happy birthday Phil!!  Hope it's a good one :)

Well I made it to the Emerald Isle folks....trip was ok...booked us into club lounge on ferry thinking it would be less infectious place to sit but quickly realised ferry air conditioned so prob didn't matter where I sat!! Weirdly....seat we chose was right next to clinical oncologist (know this as had laptop bag with it emblazoned on it....resisted urge to pump him for info!) 

Orans face was a picture when I saw him....when we arrived he was at a friends house playing but ran into the house shouting for his daddy (didn't know I was coming) when I poked my head around the door his eyes almost popped out of his head and I got the hug of my life! :) so very pleased I came so thanks to all that encouraged me as I was having doubts....

Unsure what stage everyone's at but hope all doing ok !  Tom I read your first chapter and thought it was great...very brave writing it all down and putting it out there....last two lines especially struck a chord as that's exactly how I felt....hope all goes well with you ultrasound and last chapter about your experience will be your last chapter about your experience with the dreaded Hodge! 

Ok...I'm off to find my gorgeous boy to see if I can prise another hug out of him ;) .... Hope you all have a good day, Dxx

Thanks, everyone.

Had a gorgeous night out last night, at the pub. - brisk half an hour walk beforehand, round the quiet centre of town at night, with W, then to our local; which has it seems the most fabulus bohemian mix of people using it; I fit right in! - not a pub I used much before treatment.....  Even bumped into t the barmanager of the pub I always used to use, who'd come in for a late night drink himself... - taking  my nighttime meds, in the pub with beer, seems to be the norma..... yeh; it specifically says don't take with alcohol of course.... but, it never seems to make any differnce as far as I can tell... then I pop the couple of other sleeping tablet things... err anti-anxiety tablets i think they are actually, on getting home....
Was starving when I got home; so dug a bag o oven chips out of the freezer, and cooked them at about 1 AM, for a little supper...

Woke  a little late today, but have just made and eaten a mushroom omelette. - yeh, swallowing still very painful. but. gotta eat. man.

happy Birthday Phil!

and well done w to everyone else, still trucking through treatment, and also to  those trying to battle back to some sence of normality, post-treatment.

must shower soon, and get ready to head  off to my 12 fractionation..... hmm, only three left after today I think?; oops, must dig out another ribbon to add into my hair, for today's fractionation!

Think I'll wear the cute blouse I bought yesterday from the charity shop... its so me.... - increasingly of the opinion the 'going back to normality' post-treatment for me, will be...... nothing of the sort... rather a complete reinvention of myself.... mainly for fun' life's too damn short man!

So pleased you made it to Ireland Daisy!

Happy birthday Phil!

John, you definitely right about the emotions, been feeling tearful today! Went into school again and feel a little lost, sure all will be ok when I go back properly in September. It is a strange one, like the world has moved on without you.

love to all

Jakki xx

Thanks again for the birthday wishes, just back from the new pub where I had a great Bourbon glazed mini rib of beef followed by waffle & caramel banana, most enjoyable but still looking forward to the rare steak :-)

Phil

Happy Birthday, Phil, I knew it would be late in the day when I got to say it, but it sounds as though you've been enjoying it! 

Daisy, so glad you got there! Enjoy! 

Mark, nearly there, don't forget ice cream is often ok to swallow.....as are the build up type drinks if need be, they should prescribe them as they did for Tom. 

Jakki, feeling lost and emotional is so normal, you wouldn't believe! You've been going to the hospital and been 'taken care of' so much it becomes a sort of shock to realise youre more on your own again! 

Giving encouragement and extra hugs to those having scans, chemo, treatments of any sort this week, hope all goes well for each and every one of you! 

Hugs to all xxx