Gullet (oesophagus) cancer

A support group for anyone affected by gullet cancer (also known as oesophageal cancer) to come together, share experiences and ask questions.

getting through

Bel53
Posted by

Hi, my husband has oseophagal cancer, and now secondaries & is terminal. He was diagnosed in August 2016. He is only 53. We have been married for 30 years and together since we were 13. 

So every day my heart breaks all over again to see him fighting but not winning, and to see the worry on our children’s faces. They are 15,18 and 25 & live at home. 

How do I get my kids through this? how do i keep my husband fighting and not to give up. 

Sorry for this sad message feeling sad today & need to reach out to people who will understand. 

katiejane 3
Posted by

Hi Bel53

im so sorry you find yourself on this site. I know exactly how you are feeling.  I also have 3 children who are a bit younger than yours.  My husband passed away in August 2015 of oesophageal cancer. At the time my boys were 17 and 14 and my daughter was 8.  All I can advise is that you take one day at a time. Get through it and start again the next day.  The kids helped each other, the boys really stepped up for their little sister.  My husband was fighting right to the end and I think he only let go when I told him it was ok to go. I’m sure your husband will do the same for as long as he can and you will both know when the time comes to let go.  I still have times when I sit and cry (I’m crying now).  I feel so sorry for my children, myself but especially my husband for all that he has and will miss.  I wish I could make things easier for you but you know that I can’t.  However there are lots of people on this site so please post when you need support.  Thinking of you all xx

Zantri
Posted by

Bel53,

that is horrible news, only advice I can give you is to be honest, to each other about how you feel. 

I was diagnosed February same year, slightly better prognosis but recently found cancer spcells in the joining so awaiting results from PET Scan. I am 46, thankfully I have no children but telling my parents, siblings and friends made me feel so guilty. I have not told my mum or brother yesterday about the recent find until I have more news, mum suffered a mini stroke last year and I don’t want to upset her or stress her out any more than is necessary but I will when I know the extant of the reoccurrence.

I do recommend You all get councilling and talk to each other, feelings are real and none of them are wrong. Anger, hate, sadness, all are perfectly normal but bottling them up will only cause more pain.

best advice, make as many memories as you can, even if it’s just sitting down to dinner. It’s the small things that can mean the most.

Zantri,

xx