Last December my wife was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer which was a massive shock now in less than a year I too have been diagnosed with osophagus cancer barring a pet scan the drs think they can remove it but I have such a guilt feeling about being cured but my wife’s can’t its just so overwhelming
Hi, sorry that you are in such a tough situation - it’s hard enough dealing with a loved ones diagnosis let alone your own.
We lost my father in law in January although not to cancer it’s still very difficult that we are now facing a terminal diagnosis for my dad. It’s really tough in your relationship and really hard not be in “competition” with each other who is feeling the worst! We are both in our early 30’s and our dads are no age mine only being 66 and my husbands was 59 when he passed.
I hope you can find the strength to be there for each other and have enough family and friends around you to support you too.
Hi Amy thank you for your kind words you couldn’t write what’s happend but we have a lot of family I’m so sorry to hear about your love ones too It totally changes you life even though we still try to keep it as normale as possible my wife was diagnosed 2 weeks before last christmas and Finnished her treatment in may this year but a couple of months later it had become active again she’s trialing a new drug immunotherapy and doing quite well and had some news on mine today that it hasn’t spread so a spell on chemotherapy and radiotherapy then surgery I wish you and your family all the best in the months ahead
I am in recovery from having my oesophagus removed. In fact it was Jan 2015. My sister was already going through brain cancer when I got my diagnosis. She had surgery and then had months upon months of chemo and radiotherapy. I then had my surgery I was quite poorly and spent many months in hospital. We didn't visit each other very often as we were both going through treatment or in hospital or basically not well enough. But when we did she would hug me like she never wanted to let me go. I phoned her one day as I was having sever complications due to chemo. She just said. 'Do it, just get on with it.' I remember thinking that was a bit harsh at the time. Well my poor sister passed away 28th December 2017. The guilt I felt was huge. I would just sit and cry for her, I would think why save me and not her? it wasn't that I didn't want to live because I did. At her funeral one of her life long friends came over and asked me how I was doing. I was no good I just broke down and cried. I asked the question again,' why did I get to stay and she didn't?'. My sister pointed to my children and my grandchildren and said, 'they need you'. And then I heard Dee's voice say, 'Do it just get on with it'. It was as though she was right next to me. Those words helped me through my illness, they have helped me through me recovery and they helped me through her passing. I have bought a tree and planted it in my garden. I bought a puppy. ( Dee loved dogs) and we go out and we talk to her every day. And from time to time when life gets hard or I get not well. I do it I just get on with it. I'm so sorry you are facing the cruellest imaginable. I hope my little story can help in any small way. Ps It's okay to cry, it's okay to be sad. But you just need to look for something that can help you through the storm. xxx
Love from Polly xx
We fight to survive and even when we do we feel guilty. We ask “why me” (again). But having survived we have a duty to make the best of these extra days we have been granted; we don’t know why we were chosen to survive.
Counting the days, making every day count.
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