New here - needing support

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Evening all 

I have joined due to a fairly recent diagnosis with my dad. I am only 24, him 55 & finding it all so difficult. He was diagnosed in early July.  I struggle to take it day by day and seem to be already processing so much grief and preparation for him not being here but we are not there yet. I keep finding myself losing hope when I am alone and crumble. 

He has just reached the end of the chemo where he had 4 rounds. He has scans to reassess next steps next week and that seems to have caused the sudden breakdowns. I’m just terrified. 

any advise or support groups would be hugely appreciated. 

  • Hi Christina

    Firstly I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. My dad too is still going through treatment. You are young to be experiencing all this, your dad too. It's not an easy journey at all, so it's good that you've found this forum. Many people and their families are going through much similar experiences so do use this forum as you need to. 

    Has your dad had the FLOT chemo? That's what my dad had and ges currently on his post op FLOT treatment. He had surgery in July to remove the tumour. What you're feeling is very normal. You go through a range of emotions. You suddenly find yourself hit with tests, scans check ups and a whole host of appointments. Ive been to all of my dads appointments. Some days you feel like you live at the hospital. But you do what's necessary.

    Hopefully the chemo has helped your dad. There's alot of positive stories on this forum, which I know have helped me. Has your dad got a specialist nurse/team at the hospital who you can contact for support? I know I rang alot in the early days of my dad's treatment (and still do now) if I need advice or support. There's also the Macmillan support line you can ring for free and they have trained nurses who can offer support too. I would say use any support on offer to you. There will be many times you need it for both you and your dad. Sending much positivity to you both going forward and hoping your dad's scans show good news. Take care x

  • Hi Christina 

    Sorry to hear your Dad is going through this and you and your family too ..It’s a massive life experience so Its perfectly understandable to feel the way you do ..

    Whilst supporting my husband through his own experience I’ve leaned on family and close friends at times when I felt I needed to open up about my feelings ..I’ve also found this forum very helpful in a lot of ways  ..Sometimes you can express your feelings in writing better than opening up to someone face to face ..My husband’s  specialist nurse has been a great help too ..I’m sure your Dad’s SN could source some support for you too if you feel you need it ..

    Never forget your  Dad is in the most excellent skilled hands and his medical team will do everything in their power and expertise to help him..Sometimes they will say things which you don’t really want to hear but you have to trust them and the process …Try to focus on the positives even though you may feel like there aren’t any at the moment but your Dad has come through the first stage of chemo and that in itself  shows what a strong man he is ..and that’s definitely a positive .I’m not pretending it’s an easy experience to go through as it’s far from easy ..but focussing on positives along the way helped me to find the inner strength to support my husband .I also found not looking too far ahead helped too  just taking it one stage at a time .

    Sending positivity and strength to you both .

    regards J 

  • Hi CMJ78

    apologies in the delay, I read your wonderful reply via email when it came through and have struggled to regain access to my account (and then got sidetracked with life) 

    your words of encouragement were a huge boost for me. His results were as positive as they could have been and he is now on the next stage of his treatment plan, with his oesophagectomy booked in for tomorrow. Hoping this goes as positive as possible. 

    Just hearing your story really really helped and made me feel a lot less alone so thank you for taking the time to have answered me. I’m extremely grateful. 


  • Hi JPM

    Im so sorry for taking so long to get back to you on this. Similar to my reply to somebody else on this forum, I read this on my emails when I was in the thick of these feelings and found an immense comfort in finally feeling understood & that somebody else knew my situation so similarly. 

    I have kept on the forums, even just by reading when my mind had wondered & also focusing on Juet the day, as you suggested, keeps me on track. 

    I am very grateful for you taking the time to have replied to me and offered your advise and well wishes. 

    I hope your journey is also going as positive as it can. 


  • Hi ChristinaBx23

    You're most welcome! I really hope everything has gone well for your dad today. Am sure he is in the most excellent hands of all the doctors who want to give him the very best chance. 

    Times will be tough after surgery as he starts to recover but he will have his pain well managed and you will have support from your medical team. I know my dad's recovery nurse kept in touch alot during those first few weeks once back home. Obviously there's the forum on here and use it as you need to. Take time for yourself when you can, it's alot on your young shoulders. Do post when you can and let us know how your dad is progressing. I wish you both all the best. Take care x