What? How? Really? Oh!


When I first joined this forum discussing GBM 4 earlier this year (before I had even heard the term multiform), there was one thing I noticed straight away. After looking over some of the history, I could see that people would join, chat, share experiences and pass on tips.  This was great, this was what I needed to help understand what was happening with my wife. But it seemed like too many participants would go silent too quickly.  Even more telling was that some would re-appear after a few months only to explain there loved one had gone. But that was OK as people where telling us 18 months - 2 years. Some people even made it to 4. I quickly put any unwanted notions to the back of my head.

Since finding this site in March, I have found this place to be the most useful in keeping my head straight.  I have occasionally joined in on conversations or started my own. Although not as active as others, these interactions have been a secret source of strength for me, even though I am not the one with this condition.

Early yesterday my wife left us, wrapped in the arms of her family at home. Our daughter and son had stayed with us all night and she slipped away, cradled in my arms early this morning.  It came sooner than expected, but we enough time to make it just right.

This is not a tail of woe. I am sharing an experience, perhaps passing on a tip.  The outcome was unwanted, but the manor was good. If you are new to this forum, please don’t let this shock you, let it help you understand and reconcile what may be out there. At least, until science can catch up.

Don’t be afraid to talk with the people who know how this stuff works. In the past few weeks we’ve been heavily engaged with Sue Ryder, and NHS palliative care teams. These people know exactly what they’re doing and go overboard to help and assist. Most importantly, they 100% respect the wishes of the person concerned.

This is my goodbye to the forum and a massive thank you for just being here. Please don’t stop posting and sharing, as I am sure there will be many more wanderer’s stumbling onto this site, looking for help, solace and the odd tip.

Who knows, perhaps as a veteran, I may come back in few months to Hi.

  • HI WizenedSplash

    so sorry to hear about your wife but at the same time, comforted that it was peaceful and you were all together. My thoughts are with you all.

    When my husband's time comes I hope its peaceful and that we're all together. Time will tell.

    love n hugs to you all

    Wee Me xx

    Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm

  • HI

    So brave of you to be able to write this post so soon. I am so very sorry for your loss

    Like you, I dipped in and out of the forum over the last 20 months or so .  I too found comfort and strength here.  It was a place where you knew that the answers would be honest even if that was brutal

    My darling husband passed (at the end of Feb) away gently and peaceful with myself and our adored sons by his side at home in our bedroom. Just like he wanted and asked for.  I am eternity grateful to everyone in the palliative care teams who supported us. 

    I wish you well and hope that you will find some comfort in knowing that your wife's passing was as she would have wanted